Ravi Zacharias (The Cry of a Lonely Heart)

Excerpt from Ravi Zacharias' book, Cries of the Heart:

Our being longs for God. He has fashioned our hungers. Only in Him is the soul hunger of loneliness met -- not just in love but in worship... The clutching of the Scriptures was [an] expression of Appreciative love to God Himself.

Worship Is More Than Love

When worship is fully understood, it does at least three things that clearly counter the ache of loneliness.

1. The first recognition of worship is the legitimate sense of mystery and the rightful expression of awe. This thrilling recognition of mystery is one of the greatest fulfillments of the human heart. Take a good look at our pursuits in every avenue of knowledge. Why do the horizons of science continue to expand? Only because of our desire to know....

It is little wonder that we have learned to live with loneliness, because our mysteries have a very short shelf life. Is it possible that God who Himself is pure spirit has placed a particular kind of mystery within us so that only in aw of Him can we find perpetual novelty?

We are finite persons. When that finitude loses gratitude ans is in awe of the impersonal, the branches of existence lose connection with the roots of essence, and behavior is studied detached from the mystery of life itself...

How much more would [God] want us to remember that the very life we have is a gift? This reminder to ourselves again and again is at the heart of worship. If it were not for this kind of Appreciative live, one could never truly worship God. Our of a worship that is pure, all other loves fain their definition.

2. Second, not only does this kind of Appreciative love lead to worship that is alive with awe and wonder, it goes beyond itself and gives to others. This is also important to note, because the countering effect of worship in one's loneliness does not stop with the self; it then must reach out to others in their needs and struggles. If it were not for Appreciative love for God, one could never love his or her enemy or even love for another's sake.

Out of Appreciative love flows true Gift-love, given especially to those in the throes of Need-love. Because of our love for God we endure all things, and from the love with which He enriches us flows a love that is not our own. It comes from a deposit He makes in our hearts from which we draw.

In a world full of hate and suspicion, what a distinctive role the Christian can play. This is the only way in which the spread of alienation is arrested and the nearness of Christi's love is brought even nearer to so many who are lonely. All the hatred that is demonstrated in our world has resulted from a world that knows no Appreciative love toward the very author of life.

3. Finally, Appreciative love or worship not only flows our of gratitude to God and spreads the love of God in a hostile world, it also binds the worshiping life into a single focus, touching upon every sense of life itself. Many artists and gifted writers feel the ache of loneliness because theirs is mangled genius. The "sword of Solomon" has done its work in their spirits, cutting them up. They are persons first before they are artists, and a life that seeks fulfillment in its expertise before it dins fulfillment in its being is bound to feel deeply the ache of fragmentation. Just as a child cannot be physically mangled and still retain wholeness, we cannot mangle ourselves essentially without the resultant sense of desolation. Worship brings the coalescence of essence.

Living an Interesting Life (Sunday, Aug 26 2012)

I chose that title because though my life can be unattractive but in Christ, having the persecutions and ups & downs are part of life. Especially when having the joy and peace to worship and know God more despite the troubles, so that's an interesting life to grow and be molded to be a child of God. I also got the title from my mentor's description about my struggles during his counsel before.

Last week's Friday, I didn't join the IO service. Neither did I join last Sunday service nor other churches but I attended my home church. For the rest of my Sunday, I went out with an visiting friend-acquaintance and home church "friends" (some of whom who would push me to the corner and forget about me...yet despite that I just want) to have some fun and be away from the city for one day and one night. Alas! I had fun and evidenced by a worn out body.

Last Saturday was a wedding from a couple in our church. They were my close friends.

In that wedding, I had also met my mentor who moved to another city. I was so happy to see him, I hugged him. On that day, a pastor also spoke to me, quoting a radio podcast she heard from Grace To You. She shared to me that to be a part of a team, I must have or must be:

T - Trust or Trustworthy
E - Excellence
A - Acceptance and Adjustment
M - Mentoring

In a team, there has to be trust, striving for excellence, acceptance and adjustment, and mentoring from equipped individuals from the team.

She said that the reason I wasn't allowed to help out in the youth was because I was not trusted.

I know there are people who look down at me. Some of those people are in the youth core. However, though there are people looking down at me, I have to keep in mind there are a few who still believe in me, and they are leaders, too. They may not be as influential as those who look down at me, but they are still God's.

1 Timothy 4:12 

"Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity."

She also said to me that what I had been doing, the running away, was my way of serving and worshiping God, not God's Way. Though my intentions were good: so I could be open-minded towards other churches and Christians, so I could learn from them, so I could widen my vision of God's Kingdom; I was still not worshiping and serving God, His Way. She could be right, but I just wondered, "I am still not free. How can I grow by myself?"

To also add to the letter E of team, Exemplary. To be worthy to be a good example towards others. I got that from my mentor's preaching, as the guest pastor, last Sunday, Living by Example (preaching from the book of 1 Peter).

I had a chat with my mentor last Sunday. It was short. We only went through some chapters of Romans, where we left before he left. Yet, we're not finished with Romans. I tried sharing to my spiritual father about my last week's Sunday, but he didn't seem to be interested or maybe his time was short. I was trying to share my heartaches. I began to wonder, "What does Dad want to hear from me? Could I be no longer be who I was after he left because he said I was reflecting my ex-mentor's attitude? Maybe I am becoming negative. What can I do to change to be the person pleasing to Dad?"

I also share my heartaches and fun times to my new spiritual mother (she's also not from my city). There were also times she might not be reading my messages. I really wondered, "How can I share where I can have some interaction? I want to know, am I growing in a thorny soil (Parable of the Sower, Luke 8:4-8)? It is hard to have mentors who are far away."

Then... Though I want to please my spiritual parents, I still have to grow up, grow out, and have my own spiritual children someday as well. God is our ultimate Father of us all. My spiritual parents work will be effective when I have grown up and they become spiritual grandparents, and that God is my only source of joy and comfort regardless of my spiritual parents' limited provision of joy and comfort.

I miss my spiritual parents. I miss their hugs and back rubs, too. I miss hugging them back as well.

It's Tuesday. I am re-thinking of my goals and decisions and commitments. At home, I am not free, I have to abide to my parents even if it means a short time to reflect, read books, and a desire to spend many times with God my Father. In the office, I am also not free, I may not be able to read books even in idle times. In church, I am not free, I have no mentors yet, can't get myself to be discipled, trained, and equipped. HOW CAN I HAVE MORE TIME TO SPEND WITH MY FATHER GOD? I WANT TO READ BOOKS BUT HOW, CONSIDERING THE IMPRISONED LIFE I AM LIVING? If I go back to my home church and back to the old routine, I may be juggling a lot of tasks and I may get burned out again, and grouchier, too.

Psalm 46:10 

Be still and know that I am God.
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth! 

John 14:1,27 

[Jesus said] Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe [Trust] in God; believe [trust] also in me.
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.

Living by Example (1 Peter 2:11-12; 3:1-2)

1. Context: The appeal to Christians of this world
 - We are citizens living as aliens in this world.
 - Citizens of Heaven: We must abstain from evil desires of this world.
 - Evil desires:
    - James 1:15 - Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is full grown brings forth death.
    - Temporary Physical Satisfaction

Principle: By our conduct and good deeds, we show unbelievers the way to God.

2. Conduct: Why conduct?
 - God wants Christians to be living testimonies of His love and mercy toward non-believers because through our lives, He calls others to Himself (Indirect Evangelism or Relationship Evangelism)

Principle 1: Our conduct and confession of faith should not serve as a stumbling block for non-believers.

 - Living Godly Lives: praiseworthy, noble, morally good in the sight of men
 - Christians are living glass houses.

Principle 2: We must walk our talk.

 - Though accused of wrong doing, Christians should strive for such exemplary conduct that slanderous accusations of unbelievers remain godless (1 Peter 3:16 - Having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame.)

Principle 3: Christians will "silence the ignorant talk of foolish men." (1 Peter 2:15 - For this is the will of God, that by doing good you should silence the ignorance of foolish people.)

3. Counsel: Application from Peter
 - In principle, How can a Christian evangelize to non-believers?

1st, Admonition to Submission:
 - We must carry our own cross and follow Jesus.
2nd, Action:
 - We must exemplify what we learn from our faith. (James 2:18 - But someone will say, "You have faith and I have works." Show me your faith apart from your works and I will show you my faith by my works.)
3rd, Attention:
 - We must be "witnesses without works" to our loved ones.
 - We are not the gospel, but we only point people to the gospel.

Sunday, Aug 19 2012 (Travel)

It's Tuesday. I'm still not in the mood to write about my Sunday-backpacking day and last Friday.

Last Saturday, I didn't go out early because I slept at 2AM. My mother woke up and found out that I planned to leave later. She then took my supposedly-resting-sleeping time to be her make-breakfast-help-out time. Why do they have to use my time as their own? Annoyed, I went back to my covers and uttered, "Let me have a job, God!! You're annoying, God!! Darn it!!"

I got up a little bit later. My brother prepared the breakfast. I only prepared the breakfast table and fed the dogs. Took a bath, prepared to leave.

"If I stay home, they will use my time as their own. So, it's better to leave and use my time other else. Sunday is supposed to my time of rest."

Went to a Reformed Church but found out, I was given an un-updated location. So I went to an Assembly of God church. It was a big church. They had Sunday School for all ages before the worship service started. Then I went to Christ's Commission Church, 2nd time to be there.

These two churches I went, they're message was like an hour long. It was making me drowsy. The first church, it was hard to understand what he was talking about. Hard to contemplate because I still had to understand the vernacular, his tone of voice and expression, his shifting from vernacular to English, and the message at the same time. Second church, the speaker was talking about eschatology in the perspective of the Middle East's prophecy upon their land or region. Their were points from the speaker which made me wonder his reliability. Reliability of today's economy. Could he have got his sources from rumors or from accurately reliable sources?

For my lunch, I went to a new restaurant in town. I was enjoying my Korean lunch alone.

After lunch, though still early, I went to Inside Out (IO) already, supposedly to start my devotion and study. However, I ended up surfing the internet.

During the IO service, the message was from Matthew 14:22-34 (The Storm, Jesus, and Peter). The speaker was a mentee, a new college graduate, a youth. Wow!

Last Friday IO's service, the message was from Ephesians 2:1-9 (Is Living in Sin Really Living?). The speaker was a college student, too. However, she said a mistake, "Paul hates God." Paul did not hate God. He was a scholar, a teacher of the law, a priest. He did hate Christians. That was where the young speaker made a mistake.

I pray, my home church, would someday have many young leaders that we don't have to be too dependent on our pastors and elder leaders, the Ahias and Achies.

I have nothing to say about those two messages, but I recorded the messages, embedded above. Like I said, I have not been in the mood. No mood, no words, less expression.

John Piper (Holy Ambition)

An excerpt of John Piper's sermon on Holy Ambition:

‘Holy ambition’ means something you really want to do that God wants you to do. Something you want to do so much that doing it keeps you from doing other things that you also really like to do. Paul really wanted to go to Rome for years1. But he didn’t go because he wanted something else more. He wanted to preach the gospel in Asia and Greece where people didn’t know about Jesus. He really, really, really wanted to do this. We call that kind of desire an ‘ambition.’ And we call it ‘holy ambition’ when it is something God wants you to do.