Max Lucado (Grip of Grace)

Max Lucado:

Where the Grace of God is missed, bitterness is born.
But where the Grace of God is embraced, forgiveness flourishes.
The longer we walk in the garden, the more likely we are to smell the flowers.
The more we immerse ourselves in grace, the more likely we are to give grace. ~ Grip of Grace

Five Years from Now?

I had a heart to heart chat with my new spiritual mother yester-night. We talked over the phone because we were separated by distance, she's from another city in another island of our country.

She gave me an assignment. Told me not to post online. I thought, "I think it's okay to place this on my blog. People I know don't know about this anyway. I want to post this on my blog because it's easy to store and find, and what if there is one who is facing the same struggles I am facing."

What do I want to be doing 5 years from now? (That's always a hard question. When a job interviewer asks me that question, I would make just think of things that sound good, but I have no idea what I am talking about.)

What do I want right now?
- I want to start working.

What work? Why?
- I want to work in the corporate. I want to climb the corporate ladder. I want to have a company car or my own car. I want to have my own house or apartment. Moreover, I want to be independent. I want to also travel around the world and take pictures.

What God-given gifts do I have?
- Music, Photography/Filmmaking, Teaching, Knowledge, Helping, Computers
- Of these, I can say 'teaching' really is from God because I never think myself to be able to teach.

What do I want to teach?
- Uhm????
- Anything that I have knowledge of: medicines & photography.

Then here was what Mamu said: I am talented. God gave me these gifts. Because God gave me these gifts, I should return back the glory to God. The purpose of using my talents is for God's glory. Therefore, maximizing my talents is to give God full glory. (Parable of The Talents: Matthew 25:14-30; Luke 19:12-27; or click and read the comic on the right.)

I have not been maximizing my talents, so I am not giving God glory. And because I am capable with a lot of things, I am confused of what I really want to do.

Mamu also said, "Your worth is not in what you want to do but what Jesus has already done."

So, what do I want to be for the next 5 years?
- I don't know. =(
- If I think educationally, intellectually, or skillfully, I would want to have developed work ethics, better social skills, improved communication skills, equipped to become a leader, and able to have taught to many.

So, what work would it be?

Talk about teaching.
Orchestra - I can teach music. Maybe. Direct people how to play a guitar, for sure.
Filmmaker - I can teach photography and how to use the equipment. Direct the actors, direct my co-producers.
Bible Person - I can teach about God and Bible. Direct people to Jesus and the Father as the Holy Spirit guides me.
Traveler - I can teach cultures. With my film/photography, I can direct people to a culture and people, and through my film/photography, I may be able to move the hearts of people for the nations and God's Creation.
Corporate - I can teach about a product. Direct and lead people through plans on how to make business strive.

Based from what I have written and the choices above, three things are intertwined.
Filmmaker with Traveler.
Traveler with Bible Person.

If corporate, I may start applying for the position of medical representative than technology or other perishables because, in medical missions, I am amazed with myself teaching and instructing people about the drugs. I may be able to use this ability someday with Travelling and Missionary (Bible Person) work.

Orchestra.. Where is it? I don't know. Maybe this will just be my extra hobby, but I may not be able to be in the orchestra. JULLIARD!!! How I wish.

Under the Fig Tree (Journal)

Today's message is about Nathanael, Philip, and Jesus. (John 1:43-51)

The speaker started with Nathanael. Nathanael is a cynic or a skeptic who would ask questions critically.

Philip was a new convert (v.43). when he saw Nathanael, probably his friend, the on-fire Philip, full of joy, shared to Nathanael what he was overjoyed of. Philip shared to Nathanael about Jesus. However, like every new convert, or rather anyone, having the lack of discipling, training, or knowledge of the Bible, Philip said something wrong. Philip said "Jesus from Nazareth, when Jesus came from Bethlehem." (v.45)

Then Nathanael critically asked the question, "Can anything good come from Nazareth?" (v.46a)

Yet, Philip did not argue with Nathanael nor was he discouraged. Philip, rather, invited Nathanael to "Come and see." (v.46b)

We, Christians, can make mistakes when we profess/share/testify our faith to other people. And people can be so critical with us. I, too, am a skeptic, yet a skeptic who is open for truth. We do not know if one person is hungry to know Truth. Therefore, let us do what Philip has done, invite others to "Come and see" either church, bible study, or a studying together the Bible, somewhat discipling someone though they may not yet have accepted Christ. But through true Bible Study, one can know Christ and God's grace, and the person may come to faith.

Back to the Scriptures.

Nathanael had not yet seen Jesus, but Jesus greeted him like they had known each other. (v.47)

Surprised, Nathanael asked, "How do you know me?"

Jesus replied, "I saw you under the fig tree, before Philip told you about me."

Then, Nathanael proclaimed Jesus as, "Rabbi, you are the Son of God..the King of Israel." (v.49)

And here is Jesus calling for Nathanael, "You will see greater thing than [knowing I saw you under the fig tree]. I tell you the truth, you will see heaven open and angels of God going up and coming down on the Son of Man."

Jesus and the Samaritan woman. Jesus knew the woman had many husbands and a live-in partner before the woman dared to share to Jesus her life. Jesus was able to form a connection with the woman and Nathanael for Jesus understood them. Jesus was able to build trust and relationship with them even though, they were crippling inside.

When it comes to relationships, when I heard Jesus came to understand and form a connection with the Samaritan woman and Nathanael, I have experienced something similar. I am able to form some immediate trust when the person understands me and say things which really describes me, which I am not able to describe myself. A person who is able to read my thoughts before I even say it. Actually, that person was my ex-mentor. My ex-mentor may not be a perfect person, yet I am remembered today of what good she had done to me during our early years. She had true compassion for me, even gave me special attention and most of her time to me. But in the later years, she lost that compassion and not anymore understanding. And then, I lost my trust on her.

Anyway, back to Jesus.

Now, what is the fig tree? What is Jesus saying to Nathanael, he saw him under fig tree?

The speaker said, the fig tree could mean our secret places or our inner selves. Under the fig tree could mean, what we do or who we truly are.

The speaker then illustrated that we usually and easily let people come into our lives because of fear that people may come to know us, and when they know more about us, they may leave us, and we get hurt again. He also illustrated, we choose who we invite into our houses or rooms. What if the speaker let us come into his room. As a supposed reliable trusted speaker, he has a messy room. How then can we trust him?

Human, as we are, we some times, if not many times, do not walk our talk. Yet Jesus, no matter how crooked we are, still allows us to come to know him.

When I heard the part where the speaker illustrated about his room and as a speaker/leader, suddenly, BIG tears fell from my eyes.

I am afraid to let people know me. I am afraid that when people know me more, they may leave me, and hurt me bad. I am afraid to stumble people with the bad example, bad influence, or bad life that I live. I am afraid people may get angry at me or hate me. I am afraid to let people know what a mess I am. I am not worthy to be called into God's ministry. Yet, I am convicted and reminded of God's grace with just that simple story, it doesn't matter how much of a failure I am. Doesn't matter how many times my family or a pastor would judge me bad or what a mess my room is or that I am selfish or a perfectionist. As long as I show or tell people about Jesus, I am nothing. Somehow, that messy person I am is not who I truly am. I am God's own. No matter if I am not worthy, Jesus still accepts me.

Though my outer shell is a pretend me, trying to behave like "everyone" else and my inner shell is a messed up person, my innermost part should be where Jesus is, should be who I truly am, identified to be with Jesus.

At times, I do lose focus, even after today's message. My mind is telling me, "That is not reality. Reality is this, when you leave "God's place". Reality is where the world really is. You must be just dreaming. All filled up with emotions. Those things won't last. Being called by God is just a delusion which you're making up inside your head. You're not really called. This is your life. A life where, at home, you don't own your time. In church, you'd be neglected. You're reality also is that you have no job. Being in a seminary or a worker of God is not a real job. That's only a vocation, not a profession. How can you live? How can you earn BIG and buy all the stuff you like? How can you have a comfortable life? That is not the reality. Your reality is that you're a mess. You're just a loner. You'll forever be a loner. Your friends aren't really friends. You are just friends because you have the same emotions concerning God and His grace. That is not reality."

My mind is my greatest battle.

God's Design of Love (Journal)

Attended Inside Out the second time, the message today is fromt the verse Romans 5:8,
but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Then speaker led us to our usual role models, imperfect models:
1. Publicized Model (Daniel and his friends)  Daniel 1:1-10
    - The king was the supposed role model in this story, but because of the king's food, the young men weren't healthy-looking unlike David and his friends who only ate according to God's Design.
2. Peer Culture (Noah and the Ark) Genesis 6:2 - 8:22
    - As years went by, the dress code of before was more modest than today.
    - In Noah's time, people were wicked. They followed only what their peers do.
3. People of the church (Eli and his sons) 1 Samuel 2:12-36
    - Eli's sons were wicked. They were priests but were disobedient against God whom they served.

People, even those whom we look up to, may have wronged us and we have been short of their love.

Yet God, who is our Creator and whose love is perfect, has sent Jesus to be a ransom for us who are sinners, guilty to be thrown to hell.

My thoughts:
God. I am not growing in Christ anymore. I hate my ex-mentor, my Big Sister, so much. I cannot forgive her nor I can even repent of my unforgiving and unrepentant heart to you. Reading your word has become an effort.

Dear God. I am becoming indifferent to your love. With this limited, logical, concrete mind that I have, it is hard to envision what you have done for me, envision grace and your love.

Dear God. I ask for guidance. I ask for an accountability. Bring me back to your worship. If it is your will, let me change on how am I to deal with Achi. Or how to mend my trust and relationship with her. It is hard to trust for I am afraid to be hurt and left alone. It is hard to even look at her. I don't want to see her neither do I want to leave my home church. Even though she's a bad pastor, I pray God, open her eyes and know you more and take accountability of her responsibilities as a pastor, a mother in church, and a Big Sister. I have not right to judge her. I have no right to condemn her though she has condemned me by her judgments against me. I have not willpower to forgive her, but forgive her dear God for her flaws.

God. I pray for help. You know I can't do this alone. Please send help. God. Let me have a job as well. If it is your will, let me have a job with Toyota. Let me have a job. I am tired sending my applications already. Please dear God. I ask for guidance to your Word and your Kingdom. In Jesus' extraordinary, beyond all thoughts, name. AMEN.

Read Exodus 23-24

Some years ago a Rottweiler attacked our golden retriever puppy at a kennel. The worthless animal climbed out of its run and into Molly's and nearly killed her. He left her with dozens of gashed and a dangling ear, My feelings toward that mutt were less than Davidic. Leave the two of us in a cave, and only one would have exited. I wrote a letter to the dog's owner, urging him to put the dog to sleep.

But when I showed the letter to the kennel owner, she begged me to reconsider, "What that dog did was horrible, but I'm still training him. I'm not finished with him yet."

God would say the same about the Rottweiler who attacked you. "What he did was unthinkable, unacceptable, inexcusable, but I'm not finished yet."

Your enemies still figure into God's plan. Their pulse is proof. God hasn't given up on them. They may be out of God's will, but not out of his reach. You honor God when you see them, not as His failures, but as His projects. (Max Lucado, Facing the Giants)

Here are my thoughts:

• God will not send me to where He does not permit. Acts 16:6-7
• People are still a work in progress. Therefore, forgive, consider, patience, honor God by offering these people back to him.
• How to LOVE? Know God's Law. What is LOVE? Know God's Grace. #reading #exodus

Memory verse of the day:  Exodus 23:20-22 (NCV)

I am sending an angel ahead of you, who will protect you as you travel. He will lead you to the place I have prepared. Pay attention to the angel and obey him. Do not turn against him; he will not forgive such turning against him because my power is in him. If you listen carefully to all he says and do everything that I tell you, I will be an enemy to your enemies. I will fight all who fight against you.