Max Lucado (Grip of Grace)

Max Lucado:

Where the Grace of God is missed, bitterness is born.
But where the Grace of God is embraced, forgiveness flourishes.
The longer we walk in the garden, the more likely we are to smell the flowers.
The more we immerse ourselves in grace, the more likely we are to give grace. ~ Grip of Grace

Sunday, Aug 12 2012 (Travel)

At 8AM, I went to my home church. Thinking I might be able to read, I still brought my book. When I arrived, I hesitated going to the sanctuary to observe the Sunday School Sunday and thought to rather stay in the church office and read my book. However, not too long later, I went to the balcony to watch the Sunday School. I was able to read 3 pages of book until the Sunday School started.

Was I annoyed when I saw my ex-mentor. I thought, "Why is she here? She's not part of the Sunday School." Then later I found out, she was going to be her "boyfriend" pastor's assistant. Well, I left the sanctuary before they even started their message.

The church service would start at 10AM, there was still an hour left, so I just hang around with "friends". I thought, "I will leave after the service and attend to another church." But when the church service ended, I was no longer in the mood to go out and attend another church, especially that the day was hot. Some people also wished me to join the Sunday School lunch.

I joined the lunch and their post-lunch fellowship. When the commitment cards were passed, I didn't take one and sign because I would be taking a rest from my home church. I was only there for the Sunday School. By the way, the message today was taken somewhere in Joshua, in relation to promoting Sunday School or the purpose of Sunday School.

I am sorry but I was not quite listening. I listened but I didn't remember much. It was about parents on kids, teachers on students...literally. It was like, "this isn't for me." But I related it to my mentors or teachers or pastors, even my ex-mentor, and I was the kid.

Anyway, after lunch, I went out with four "friends". We're not really close. We went to a tea house, they bought milk tea, and then we played Monopoly Deal. It was fun, and it was my first time.

After three games, I had to go, join Inside Out, a ministry of another church reaching out for the youth. And this was where my day ended great. A message which convicted and reminded me of God's grace. Click here to read.

Visited Home Church & Left Angry

Last Monday, I joined Bible Study in my home church. And Wednesday, I went to my home church again to help for the Sunday School celebration decors. People asked of me for I had been away too long (so far, only 2 weeks). From my being discreet, people had gotten to know because though I tried not to tell the whole truth, they still sensed something not right, that I was "somehow" leaving.

AND!! @#$%!! I saw my ex-mentor, my enemy.

I don't like to see her. I hate her. I am not forgiving her nor I am repentant either.

Pastor: Are you exasparating your spiritual children?

I attended the prayer meeting that Wednesday for only 15 minutes. She was the presider. I was feeling imprisoned by her presence. I was looking for a reason to leave until my mother (also my enemy) called. "Voila! I found my reason."

As I got home (and before writing this), I sent hate letters to my ex-mentor.

It is because of these two mothers (biological and spiritual) that I am going rogue from my home church.

(And I may visit again this week to continue helping for the Sunday School. Hope I don't see her.)