“God hates visionary dreaming; it makes the dreamer proud and pretentious. The man who fashions a visionary ideal of community demands that it be realized by God, by others, and by himself. He enters the community of Christians with his demands, sets up his own law, and judges the brethren and God Himself accordingly. He stands adamant, a living reproach to all others in the circle of brethren.” – Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together
Reflection:
Joseph was a dreamer. He became proud for it.
Two months after coming back from another country, I found my hometown still a pain. All problems and struggles I left were still present. Re-adjusting was hard after giving myself away in that country to know the people to minister to them.
Experiencing hardships and discomforts became a joy and comfort as I took part the struggles Jesus faced when He was on earth. However, coming back, everything was still the same, old hardships were still present and the struggle of a comfortable, convenient life with family and old friends became harder. I became too critical and more bitter.
I needed a community to help me re-adjust, a community to be serious with God together, a community to pray against this spiritual warfare, but every one were just too busy. But I understand they wouldn't understand my experiences. However, when I try to reach out for help, they "shrug" (looks like they don't want to be involved in my loss and grief after coming home).
Coming back to my old life was hard.
I came back but God became silent and Satan was winning. Where did I go wrong? Why do I respond with bitterness? Maybe I really am not angry at people, but angry at me. Maybe I am angry at people because I can do nothing much here. People are around for support. People are more concerned with their jobs and enjoying this life with temporary pleasures. While I am convicted of God's Word, broken to obey God's Word.
I became depressed recently. No reminder that God is still here or counsel to "read the Bible everyday," "don't look at the past but forward," "your parents will support you," "no one can help you but you alone" could help me overcome this low state. But when I accidentally came across the song, "Break Every Chain," there is power in the name of Jesus to break every chain, it struck. YES! THERE'S A POWER IN THE NAME OF JESUS TO BREAK EVERY CHAIN. I only needed a reminder of God's grace, of who Jesus is. And THERE'S AN ARMY, RISING UP TO BREAK EVERY CHAIN. God's army conquers against the enemy that binds these chains.
Then I must concentrate on Jesus, not people. Love people. To love people, I must talk to them about Jesus.
"We shouldn't love people in order to share our faith with them. Rather, we share our faith and ourselves with them in order to love them." ~Timothy Keller
Let this be my mission as I am back in my hometown, which I may be called to stay:
If I am looking for a community that's Christ-centered and mission-minded, then I hope to make one.
I hope to disciple my brother and his girl friend for they both are looking for deep relationship with God. Bringing them to a church, which can meet their spiritual needs.
As for my home church, I pray you'd find the gospel a 'joyful burden' to accept and live.
As for my parents, I pray you'd know the true God.
I hope to find like-minded people to grow together, learn from each other, and make where we are our mission field.
I also hope to build relationships, bringing them to places just to spend time together. (need money)
Father, bless this vision. Cast out my bitterness. May the power of Jesus' name break every chain. Amen
