Is she really mourning or just sad and in self-pity?
She wanders around looking for comfort. The comfort she had before is gone. She got angry and now she is in a loss. Every one seems to be moving on and seems to be changing. Even enemies are meeting each other again like nothing happened. Has she forgiven? She thinks she has, but she no longer trusts, believe, and love the way she loved....her human sacrificial way of love. She is also confused with the Christlike love and the love she once had. She does know she doesn't love anymore. She is alone and hurting.
She wanders around looking for help in understanding the Bible, to answer her questions. However, people doesn't seem to find her questions simple. She wonders, have they given up answering her questions because they are hard or they are just busy. So many questions, she only wants to know Truth, is that not too hard to understand. She is alone and hurting.
She wanders, how come God allows this but still punishes people, as she reads the Old Testament. She really wants to know God and His Word, but she is alone and hurting.
She is gloomy. She is alone and hurting.
She does mourn that she has her shortcomings and iniquities. She does want to be what God commands her to be, to be holy and righteous, to be joyful, yet she is alone and hurting.
Why is she so sad?
She is alone and hurting.
Friday, October 26, 2012
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Numbers 26-27 (Every one needs a shepherd)
God is faithful. He did not completely wipe out Israel because of its obedience. God would not burn us all because, though He is a God of Wrath and Judgment, He is also a God of Mercy. God cannot turn His back from His people. God is true to His Word that He will never leave us nor forsake. However, God still has to punish sins, we as His people has to accept God's discipline for God's discipline is for our good.
Moses was about to expire before Israel entered the Promised Land. Moses hoped for someone who could lead the people as he left, God was upon Joshua and chose Joshua to lead the people. Joshua was one of the twelve spies who brought faith to the people that the land promised to them was good. He trusted God despite the fear of Israel.
God also could not allow His people to be without a shepherd. We, like sheep, are dumb. We do not know what we do. We need teachers to help us. God sent Jesus Christ to teach us. God sent Jesus to show us the Way, the Truth, and the Life, that whoever comes to the Father must come through Christ. However, Christ ascended to heaven. Christ brought the Holy Spirit to guide us. However, God cannot just make us into individual persons because God is a relational God. He wants us to have relationships and to be interdependent with others. He brought us to the Spirit of Sonship. He brought us to the body of Christ. He brought us to His Family. We cannot learn things on our own, we need mature people to help us and teach us, for the Holy Spirit is not only in us but also in others, in God's Family. God can use others to teach us. God wants us to trust Him. God wants us to be spiritual humans. He wants us to experience taste, smell, vision, and touch. He doesn't want us to be His wild child who has never experienced real love because we have been separated from a family unit where love is present. Though our earth family may have neglected us or their love is limited or something lacking, God brought us to His Family. Though our church family can be so imperfect that they have also neglected us, God brought us to His larger Family. Though a spiritual parent neglected you and left you, God brought us to His Family where there are more equipped spiritual parents to teach us, to mold us, to guide us as we continue to grow. God devised a family unit to allow us to grow--earth family for our physical needs and spiritual family for our spiritual needs. God cannot allow spiritual orphans to be roaming around not knowing what to do, though they have tried going to many churches, tried to study the Bible, but without proper guidance from a mature Christian, they remain wild children without a shepherd. I thank God for bringing me to a new spiritual Mom who can really teach me the Bible. Though she is from another city, I thank God for technology that we can communicate like we are close by. However, I hope to meet my spiritual Mom again and hug her. Yet I pray that no misunderstanding will separate me like my previous teachers who have left me.
All in all, God is our perfect Father who will never leave us though we misunderstand Him many times.
Moses was about to expire before Israel entered the Promised Land. Moses hoped for someone who could lead the people as he left, God was upon Joshua and chose Joshua to lead the people. Joshua was one of the twelve spies who brought faith to the people that the land promised to them was good. He trusted God despite the fear of Israel.
God also could not allow His people to be without a shepherd. We, like sheep, are dumb. We do not know what we do. We need teachers to help us. God sent Jesus Christ to teach us. God sent Jesus to show us the Way, the Truth, and the Life, that whoever comes to the Father must come through Christ. However, Christ ascended to heaven. Christ brought the Holy Spirit to guide us. However, God cannot just make us into individual persons because God is a relational God. He wants us to have relationships and to be interdependent with others. He brought us to the Spirit of Sonship. He brought us to the body of Christ. He brought us to His Family. We cannot learn things on our own, we need mature people to help us and teach us, for the Holy Spirit is not only in us but also in others, in God's Family. God can use others to teach us. God wants us to trust Him. God wants us to be spiritual humans. He wants us to experience taste, smell, vision, and touch. He doesn't want us to be His wild child who has never experienced real love because we have been separated from a family unit where love is present. Though our earth family may have neglected us or their love is limited or something lacking, God brought us to His Family. Though our church family can be so imperfect that they have also neglected us, God brought us to His larger Family. Though a spiritual parent neglected you and left you, God brought us to His Family where there are more equipped spiritual parents to teach us, to mold us, to guide us as we continue to grow. God devised a family unit to allow us to grow--earth family for our physical needs and spiritual family for our spiritual needs. God cannot allow spiritual orphans to be roaming around not knowing what to do, though they have tried going to many churches, tried to study the Bible, but without proper guidance from a mature Christian, they remain wild children without a shepherd. I thank God for bringing me to a new spiritual Mom who can really teach me the Bible. Though she is from another city, I thank God for technology that we can communicate like we are close by. However, I hope to meet my spiritual Mom again and hug her. Yet I pray that no misunderstanding will separate me like my previous teachers who have left me.
All in all, God is our perfect Father who will never leave us though we misunderstand Him many times.
Monday, October 22, 2012
Numbers 22-25 (Balaam and a Human Sacrifice)
Balaam was a sorcerer but at the same time, one who followed God?
Balaam wanted money, but he refused to do what Balak asked him to do because God told him not to curse Israel. But on second request, God told him to go but say what God would tell him. However, God wanted him killed for going but his scared donkey saved him, whether God was with his donkey to show Balaam that God was powerful than him and Balaam must have sinned or that his motive in going had been wrong (which I could not find in the readings). And in the presence of Balak who wanted Israel cursed, Balaam blessed Israel because God told him what to say. On the third time, Balaam knew God was protecting Israel, Balaam, in the Holy Spirit, told already what he could bless Israel and then cursed Balak. (In previous passages, God protected Israel from men who wanted Israel destroyed for God was with Israel.)
In chapter 25, an Israelite and his pagan partner was killed by Phinehas, a grandson of Aaron, who hated sin, as a sacrifice for the sins of Israel, to save them from God's destruction. Jesus Christ, who never was a sinner became a sacrifice, sacrificed by sinners who loved their sins, to save those who are His own from God's wrath and upcoming Judgment.
The relation of these passages is that our motives should be pure because God is pure, but sinners as we are, we cannot do purity on own. Hence, Jesus Christ came and ascended to heaven leaving us the Holy Spirit to guide us and teach us, preparing us before we leave earth and be with God. Let us allow the Holy Spirit to mold us, no matter how painful it can be for we know the promise that is given to us that we will be with God forever and this earth us just our temporary home. So let us trust God with all our hearts, minds, souls, and strengths.
Balaam wanted money, but he refused to do what Balak asked him to do because God told him not to curse Israel. But on second request, God told him to go but say what God would tell him. However, God wanted him killed for going but his scared donkey saved him, whether God was with his donkey to show Balaam that God was powerful than him and Balaam must have sinned or that his motive in going had been wrong (which I could not find in the readings). And in the presence of Balak who wanted Israel cursed, Balaam blessed Israel because God told him what to say. On the third time, Balaam knew God was protecting Israel, Balaam, in the Holy Spirit, told already what he could bless Israel and then cursed Balak. (In previous passages, God protected Israel from men who wanted Israel destroyed for God was with Israel.)
In chapter 25, an Israelite and his pagan partner was killed by Phinehas, a grandson of Aaron, who hated sin, as a sacrifice for the sins of Israel, to save them from God's destruction. Jesus Christ, who never was a sinner became a sacrifice, sacrificed by sinners who loved their sins, to save those who are His own from God's wrath and upcoming Judgment.
The relation of these passages is that our motives should be pure because God is pure, but sinners as we are, we cannot do purity on own. Hence, Jesus Christ came and ascended to heaven leaving us the Holy Spirit to guide us and teach us, preparing us before we leave earth and be with God. Let us allow the Holy Spirit to mold us, no matter how painful it can be for we know the promise that is given to us that we will be with God forever and this earth us just our temporary home. So let us trust God with all our hearts, minds, souls, and strengths.
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Unless the Lord builds, those who labor, labor in vain (Prayer for Work)
1 (Unless the Lord) builds the house,
the builders (work in vain, they) are working for nothing.
(Unless the Lord) guards the city,
the guards (watch in vain, they) are watching for nothing.
2 It is (in vain or of) no use for you to get up early
and stay up late,
working for a living, (eating bread in painful labor--for)
The Lord gives sleep to those he loves. ~ Psalm 127:1-2 (NCV, ESV, NASB)
the builders (work in vain, they) are working for nothing.
(Unless the Lord) guards the city,
the guards (watch in vain, they) are watching for nothing.
2 It is (in vain or of) no use for you to get up early
and stay up late,
working for a living, (eating bread in painful labor--for)
The Lord gives sleep to those he loves. ~ Psalm 127:1-2 (NCV, ESV, NASB)
Our Father, who is in heaven,
May your name be hallowed, May your name be glorified.
May your kingdom come, May your will be done on this earth, as it is in heaven.
Give us this day...that as we start each of our individual jobs,
May we glorify you. For our human effort is useless without you.
Without you, we are nothing.
Our work will rather simply be in vain, be tiresome, be rather empty,
If we work only for our own gain, for our best interests.
Father, forgive us for we know not what we do, but Father, teach us to know right from wrong, teach us your law, teach us your grace. Enable us to forgive those who have wronged us no matter how hard it is.
Lead us not to the temptation of deceiving or lying to our fellow coworkers and our leaders, and to our customers, but enable us to love one another as you have first loved us through Jesus Christ your Son, and deliver us from evil.
For yours is your kingdom, your power, and your glory,
Forever and evermore.
In Jesus' precious name we pray, Amen.
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Harmful People
As much as it was past....
Who: church Mom
What: Left me, Stayed away from me. I felt like a leper that she couldn't be near me or even touch me.
When: 2011, 2012
Where: At church or at our meeting spots in church
How: Judged wrongly, Misunderstood
Why: I was needy. I wanted to be taught more. I needed help to understand life. I wanted to be taught of the Bible.
All the time..................
Who: Family
What: Abuse of my time, body, and personal space
When: Almost everyday
Where: At home
How: Without asking, "Can you.....?" Commandeering. Controlling.
Why: I am afraid to be scolded. I don't defend that I am tired and resting. I should be respecting their authority. I look after them first before my own.
Who: church Mom
What: Left me, Stayed away from me. I felt like a leper that she couldn't be near me or even touch me.
When: 2011, 2012
Where: At church or at our meeting spots in church
How: Judged wrongly, Misunderstood
Why: I was needy. I wanted to be taught more. I needed help to understand life. I wanted to be taught of the Bible.
==========================================================
All the time..................
Who: Family
What: Abuse of my time, body, and personal space
When: Almost everyday
Where: At home
How: Without asking, "Can you.....?" Commandeering. Controlling.
Why: I am afraid to be scolded. I don't defend that I am tired and resting. I should be respecting their authority. I look after them first before my own.
Monday, October 15, 2012
R.C. Sproul (The Sword and The Keys)
RT @SallyDMedia: The gov't holds the power of the SWORD, while the church holds the power of the keys http://t.co/KPZGbQCh (audio) http://t.co/giFdp8y7 (blog)
Sunday, October 14, 2012
I am Burdened
I am burdened that I am a sinner. I am burdened that there is no perfect church. Much more I am burdened that people are comfortable and what they can see within their reach is what they only reach. I am burdened to see visions and I am still far from reaching that vision.
I am also burdened that the day is short and I am torn in halves. What can I do for the family, I'm out of the house for 12 hrs and arrive home with less time for the family and we're already tired. I still have books to read & study, and spend more time with God. I also need to grow and develop relationships with others, be with people, relieving loneliness and staying home, helpless.
May God take care of my family. "Is that a Christian way to do.....?" I can't take care of my family. I'm not supergirl. As much as I hope to help, I'm tired already. My mother's sacrifice that after work she still works at home, 
. Helpless. She complains but I am unable to help her everything, but only a portion of what she expects. 
I also can't proxy my brother's errands when he neglects. I try, even just listen to my mother's complains and blames tho it isn't my mistake. I rather just accept that it's mine. That every complains and blames are my mistakes and doings. Yet most times, I get annoyed and frustrates. I pray that I stop being irritated easily and just submit.
I am not just a professional and a daughter (and friend), I am also a Christian...and people expects a lot from a Christian, even expects us to be their saver or a "baggage counter" or proxy or whatever else that is beyond the norms/usuals of a human being's task on this earth. A Christian is not normal, a Christian is more than just normal. A Christian is appointed to take care? Just like God appointed Adam and Eve to take care of the earth. Yet as flesh and blood of Adam and Eve, we all are appointed to take care but because of the fall, that divine appointment? is corrupted. So, because our relationship with God is being restored to be like that of Adam and Eve before the Fall, our usual tasks are added with the divine tasks called/appointed to us by our Father, yet it's VERY HARD. I thank God for sending Jesus Christ to have allowed us to see what we have not seen for a very long time ago, that relationship with the Father. I also thank God for the Holy Spirit guiding us and caring for us when we can't take care of ourselves and the people being brought to us to take care, our families, friends, and office mates, and a stranger.
May "this" continue on and not be trashed by my feeble mind...on and off.
Friday, October 12, 2012
David Powlison (Fruits of Intimate Power become Evident)
David Powlison (Seeing With New Eyes, Chapter 2)
"The fruits of intimate power become evident. God's children learn humility and patience, becoming less and less headstrong and opinionated as we walk in the light. We are given people with gifts of love and truth to shepherd and teach us, visible and audible demonstrations of God's power. We learn more and more to love, and less and less to be embittered, angry people. We learn to lie with sexual and financial purity, less and less driven by sordid self-interest. We learn wise speech, becoming more and more able to strengthen others with a timely word. We learn to give money to meet others' needs, and we experience the generosity of others to us. In all this and more, the power of the living God who raised Christ now infuses the people of Christ."
"The fruits of intimate power become evident. God's children learn humility and patience, becoming less and less headstrong and opinionated as we walk in the light. We are given people with gifts of love and truth to shepherd and teach us, visible and audible demonstrations of God's power. We learn more and more to love, and less and less to be embittered, angry people. We learn to lie with sexual and financial purity, less and less driven by sordid self-interest. We learn wise speech, becoming more and more able to strengthen others with a timely word. We learn to give money to meet others' needs, and we experience the generosity of others to us. In all this and more, the power of the living God who raised Christ now infuses the people of Christ."
Government, A Legal Force, Delegated by God
The fundamental question to ask before voting:
- What is government?
- What is government supposed to do?
- What are its God-given responsibilities?
- What's the relationship between church and state, between the Kingdom of God and kingdom of man?
Paula Rinehart (The Cleavers Don't Live Here Anymore)
"The spiritual territory here is uncharted and sometimes frightening. Perhaps you tool a wrong turn to arrive at such a place. You don't know what else lurks in the darkness. As on friend said, 'Suddenly, I realized that if the things feared had happened, then almost anythings else was possible, too. I no longer felt safe.'
"Can't I just return to the days when faith seemed sure and simple? Can't I just go back to where I was? These are natural question to ask. We long for a Bible study or spiritual retreat or earnest effort or something that promises that old certainty. We long for farther to lose its tentative feel--to cease to feel like faith.
"There is no going back, though,. Our manageable belief system no longer works so well. The walls of the box begin to crumble. God often seems strangely absent, as though He has left us on our own to sort things our. Yet, in reality, what we are experiencing is this pain and confusion of letting go, not of God, but of the safe, secure, confines we built to house our concept of Him. God is not a concept of Him. God is not a concept to be mastered. a set prescription we can control. He shows Himself to be much different that we thought--more loving, more exacting, more faithful."
(Paula Rinehart, The Cleavers Don't Live Here Anymore)
"Can't I just return to the days when faith seemed sure and simple? Can't I just go back to where I was? These are natural question to ask. We long for a Bible study or spiritual retreat or earnest effort or something that promises that old certainty. We long for farther to lose its tentative feel--to cease to feel like faith.
"There is no going back, though,. Our manageable belief system no longer works so well. The walls of the box begin to crumble. God often seems strangely absent, as though He has left us on our own to sort things our. Yet, in reality, what we are experiencing is this pain and confusion of letting go, not of God, but of the safe, secure, confines we built to house our concept of Him. God is not a concept of Him. God is not a concept to be mastered. a set prescription we can control. He shows Himself to be much different that we thought--more loving, more exacting, more faithful."
(Paula Rinehart, The Cleavers Don't Live Here Anymore)
Numbers 19-21 (God's Will)
In these passages, many years had already passed and many had died and buried in the desert. Still, the Isrealites complained, probably even those who were born in the desert, those who had not been in Egypt, but hearing their parents' life in Egypt, they missed out what God had done to them. They had been with God. They could see God's pillar of cloud and fire watching over them. Moses and Aaron, the leaders, even disobeyed God, and they could not go unpunished, Aaron died and Moses would die next. With God's punishment, Israel faced God's fury, he brought sickness and snakes which God then instructed Moses to place a snake on a stick for people to see when they got bitten by the deadly snake, an atonement from the the punishment. It's unbelievable to just see at the snake to be cured, but they trusted. They even trusted more in the midst of adversity. God never gave up on them, He still led them and protected them from harm and rejection.
God is merciful but He is just. Disobedience cannot go unpunished. Though God punishes us, He meant our punishment for good, to mold us, to change us, even to learn to trust in him. The snake is a manifestation of Jesus Christ. We are to look on Jesus. He is pure human and pure God. He experiences all our pains and other emotions. He has experienced death, but He has risen and is now with the Father interceding for His own. Jesus is the atonement of our sins, redeeming us from eternal punishment.
It was God's Will to delay the Israelites. It was God's Will to send Jesus and be sacrificed on the cross. It was also God's Will that, not only Israel, would get to know Him and have a relationship with the Creator. It is also God's Will that we face what we are facing now. We are to trust and have faith. Believe for our future is justified in God's Will. Even though, our present may seem hard to understand a future ahead, God wills what he wills.
God is merciful but He is just. Disobedience cannot go unpunished. Though God punishes us, He meant our punishment for good, to mold us, to change us, even to learn to trust in him. The snake is a manifestation of Jesus Christ. We are to look on Jesus. He is pure human and pure God. He experiences all our pains and other emotions. He has experienced death, but He has risen and is now with the Father interceding for His own. Jesus is the atonement of our sins, redeeming us from eternal punishment.
It was God's Will to delay the Israelites. It was God's Will to send Jesus and be sacrificed on the cross. It was also God's Will that, not only Israel, would get to know Him and have a relationship with the Creator. It is also God's Will that we face what we are facing now. We are to trust and have faith. Believe for our future is justified in God's Will. Even though, our present may seem hard to understand a future ahead, God wills what he wills.
Thursday, October 11, 2012
I am a sinner
I read Numbers 19-21 today though I wasn't in the mood. I think I would later finish it.
"I do hope you already asked the Lord and your parents for forgiveness." ~spiritual mom
At first, "what?" What sin had I done last night? I called my brother "monkey", the name I called him when we were still young, but I called him that today because he was uncooperative and mother got angry at me and let me finish his work.
God, how can I forgive? Can I just forgive from afar, like not openly tell to my parents I forgive them or asking for forgiveness? May I just ask forgiveness from you?
God, my heart is hardened from the experiences I have and I have become someone who is defending herself from emotional pain.
God, I searched back my spiritual dad's emails to remember what he said regarding my brother and parent's unfair treatment. God, enable me live a life of sacrifice revealing to them of your grace. However, I'm thinking, when I have done something wrong, I tend to run away because of the shame and because I have done wrong and I loathe because I am stupid, "why did I do what I have done?" I'm a bad person. God, soften my heart PLEASE. God, punish me, break me, but don't allow me to be bitter. Take away the bitterness I have. GOD, fill my minds with your words, with your thoughts. Let me remember my spiritual dad's words. Help me remember you and your words, let me know more of you God. PLEASE change my thinking, change my ways, change my lifestyle, change ME. God, I am the same from before, enable me to leave the life I have, the self I have. God, this prayer is all about me, me, me. Enable me to think more of you, you, you
God I'm proud. Help me let go. God, help me stop accusing myself. Help me stop judging myself, I am not the judge but you.
"I do hope you already asked the Lord and your parents for forgiveness." ~spiritual mom
At first, "what?" What sin had I done last night? I called my brother "monkey", the name I called him when we were still young, but I called him that today because he was uncooperative and mother got angry at me and let me finish his work.
God, how can I forgive? Can I just forgive from afar, like not openly tell to my parents I forgive them or asking for forgiveness? May I just ask forgiveness from you?
God, my heart is hardened from the experiences I have and I have become someone who is defending herself from emotional pain.
God, I searched back my spiritual dad's emails to remember what he said regarding my brother and parent's unfair treatment. God, enable me live a life of sacrifice revealing to them of your grace. However, I'm thinking, when I have done something wrong, I tend to run away because of the shame and because I have done wrong and I loathe because I am stupid, "why did I do what I have done?" I'm a bad person. God, soften my heart PLEASE. God, punish me, break me, but don't allow me to be bitter. Take away the bitterness I have. GOD, fill my minds with your words, with your thoughts. Let me remember my spiritual dad's words. Help me remember you and your words, let me know more of you God. PLEASE change my thinking, change my ways, change my lifestyle, change ME. God, I am the same from before, enable me to leave the life I have, the self I have. God, this prayer is all about me, me, me. Enable me to think more of you, you, you
God I'm proud. Help me let go. God, help me stop accusing myself. Help me stop judging myself, I am not the judge but you.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Numbers 16-18 (Rebellion, Set Apart, and Submission to Authority)
Some of the Israelites started a rebellion against Moses and Aaron for bringing them back to the desert. However, they did no rebel against Moses and Aaron but against God for God was leading Moses and Aaron. God punished the people to death, swallowing them down the earth. God also showed to the people that Aaron was different and chosen by Him to lead the people, but Aaron was also accountable to the sins of the people, which Aaron and his sons were to offer sacrifices to God for the people, redeeming or atoning them of their sins. The Levites were also separate from the other tribes of Israel for they were appointed by God to work for the Meeting Tent, to work for God and help to Aaron and his sons.
God chooses people.
He choose his appointed ones into his Kingdom.
He choose from his appointed to the service to God and His people.
He choose from his helpers to lead the people and be accountable.
Yet, God choose His Son, Jesus Christ to be an atonement for our sins that we don't have to be the ones to make sacrifices for the people. Jesus is the perfect sacrifice and he intercedes for us as he is sitting at the throne beside the Father.
As chosen ones, we are to be set apart from all peoples of the world. Learning about God. Serving him. Be holy as He is holy. To love Him with all our heart, mind, soul, and strength. To love our neighbors as ourselves just as Jesus loves for his love is perfect. God's hate for sins is not like our hate for we are imperfect. Be set apart and not be like the people of this world, disobeying God, hence, rebelling God for He created us, He is our Father, our Master.
This passage not only talks about rebellion being set apart. It talks about the people to submit to authority for God appoints people to be in authority over us, to lead us, to guide us. May they be teachers, our parents, mentors, bosses, older siblings, older friends, whoever who has shown us authority.
Romans 13:1-6
Hebrews 13:17
Surely we will be punished or surely we sin when we defy authority and I am guilty of that. I have defied authority because I want to be independent. I rebelled. What good has it come to me? A broken trust and broken relationship that is far from the chance for being mended. I have become hateful, resilient, resentful, angry. Nothing good happens when I defy authority.
God chooses people.
He choose his appointed ones into his Kingdom.
He choose from his appointed to the service to God and His people.
He choose from his helpers to lead the people and be accountable.
Yet, God choose His Son, Jesus Christ to be an atonement for our sins that we don't have to be the ones to make sacrifices for the people. Jesus is the perfect sacrifice and he intercedes for us as he is sitting at the throne beside the Father.
As chosen ones, we are to be set apart from all peoples of the world. Learning about God. Serving him. Be holy as He is holy. To love Him with all our heart, mind, soul, and strength. To love our neighbors as ourselves just as Jesus loves for his love is perfect. God's hate for sins is not like our hate for we are imperfect. Be set apart and not be like the people of this world, disobeying God, hence, rebelling God for He created us, He is our Father, our Master.
This passage not only talks about rebellion being set apart. It talks about the people to submit to authority for God appoints people to be in authority over us, to lead us, to guide us. May they be teachers, our parents, mentors, bosses, older siblings, older friends, whoever who has shown us authority.
Romans 13:1-6
Hebrews 13:17
Surely we will be punished or surely we sin when we defy authority and I am guilty of that. I have defied authority because I want to be independent. I rebelled. What good has it come to me? A broken trust and broken relationship that is far from the chance for being mended. I have become hateful, resilient, resentful, angry. Nothing good happens when I defy authority.
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Numbers 15 (Hope in God)
I read the devotion part of this passage before I wrote here.
The first part talks how to offer sacrifices to God and obey Him. Second talks about a man stoned to death for he collected wood on a Sabbath. Third talks about God commanding people to put tassels on their garment to remind them of God's commands.
The man stoned to death for gathering wood on a Sabbath concerns me because what if he's collecting wood to burn for food. Didn't Jesus' disciples collect food from the fields because they were hungry? Didn't Jesus tell the crippled man of 30 years to carry the mat? The man was pitiful. He was just gathering wood and he was stoned to death for it. Was he innocent or was he intentionally disobeying God? By his punishment, he disobeyed God. Sabbath must be kept holy because God rested on the seventh day after 6 days of work. Sabbath is set aside for our day of worship, to remind us to turn from our sins, to love even our enemies, to give and care those who are in need. To let go of our material possessions, that includes work for we are working for the benefit of preserving ourselves in the flesh and leisure, to trust in God and hope in God completely that He alone can provide everything we need...for our body, strength, and spirit. On Sabbath, we are to rest in Him. Trust in Him. Hope in Him. Yet, I still can't get over for the man stoned to death.
May we put reminders to remind us that we are not our own, we don't belong here but belong in heaven with God. A reminder to always look up to God and obey Him.
I am a great sinner and I don't deserve to be part of God's Family. I could have killed myself if I have not known God. I still lose focus of God. I still speak unwholesome talk, I fail to edify, I raise my voice especially when I am irritable, I lack self-control. I hate, I get angry and sin especially when I am wrong, hurt, and betrayed. I beg....
God, enable me to hope in you completely, trust ONLY you entirely, have faith in you which can move mountains. Let me hope in you, God that someday I become whom I think I will be. Yet, teach me, guide me, don't hurt me too much as you discipline me to become the person you will me to be. Let me always choose you more than other things. Let me be patient and not be hasty with the "visions" you allow me to peep or see but let me wait on you. The Isrealites had the chance to see the Promised Land but because of sin, they were moved away that all they could do was hope one day they would possess the land. What if I may not see the visions happen in my time? It hurts but GOD! Let me still hope in you. Let me, especially, enjoy you. In Jesus' name, Amen.
The first part talks how to offer sacrifices to God and obey Him. Second talks about a man stoned to death for he collected wood on a Sabbath. Third talks about God commanding people to put tassels on their garment to remind them of God's commands.
The man stoned to death for gathering wood on a Sabbath concerns me because what if he's collecting wood to burn for food. Didn't Jesus' disciples collect food from the fields because they were hungry? Didn't Jesus tell the crippled man of 30 years to carry the mat? The man was pitiful. He was just gathering wood and he was stoned to death for it. Was he innocent or was he intentionally disobeying God? By his punishment, he disobeyed God. Sabbath must be kept holy because God rested on the seventh day after 6 days of work. Sabbath is set aside for our day of worship, to remind us to turn from our sins, to love even our enemies, to give and care those who are in need. To let go of our material possessions, that includes work for we are working for the benefit of preserving ourselves in the flesh and leisure, to trust in God and hope in God completely that He alone can provide everything we need...for our body, strength, and spirit. On Sabbath, we are to rest in Him. Trust in Him. Hope in Him. Yet, I still can't get over for the man stoned to death.
May we put reminders to remind us that we are not our own, we don't belong here but belong in heaven with God. A reminder to always look up to God and obey Him.
I am a great sinner and I don't deserve to be part of God's Family. I could have killed myself if I have not known God. I still lose focus of God. I still speak unwholesome talk, I fail to edify, I raise my voice especially when I am irritable, I lack self-control. I hate, I get angry and sin especially when I am wrong, hurt, and betrayed. I beg....
God, enable me to hope in you completely, trust ONLY you entirely, have faith in you which can move mountains. Let me hope in you, God that someday I become whom I think I will be. Yet, teach me, guide me, don't hurt me too much as you discipline me to become the person you will me to be. Let me always choose you more than other things. Let me be patient and not be hasty with the "visions" you allow me to peep or see but let me wait on you. The Isrealites had the chance to see the Promised Land but because of sin, they were moved away that all they could do was hope one day they would possess the land. What if I may not see the visions happen in my time? It hurts but GOD! Let me still hope in you. Let me, especially, enjoy you. In Jesus' name, Amen.
Monday, October 8, 2012
David Powlison (I'll-wait-and-see-how-he'll-treat-me ATTITUDE)
David Powlison's Seeing With New Eyes: Counseling and the Human Condition through the lens of Scripture
"I once talked with a woman who was picking through the rubble of her marriage. Her husband had treated her very badly, rejecting and betraying her. But she has also contributed to the demolitions of love. She had lived a lifestyle of fear, passivity, and what we came to call her 'I'll-wait-and-see-how-he'll-treat-me' attitude. Over the years she had drifted and nursed her self-pity, rather than wrestling with herself in order to love her husband and fighting to save her marriage. She now faced yet another fork in the road: either continue in the old lifestyle driven by fear of man or forge a new lifestyle driven by faith in Christ. She would have many opportunities to interact with him as the divorce proceedings played out.
"While all this is going on, Christ calls her to deal with God about the log in her own eye, He calls her to bring grace and forgiveness into the rubble. He calls her to speak candid, constructive words to her husband. He calls her to a bold humility, not a cowardly self-absorption.
"She was struggling with all this, but starting to light up. I could finally say to her, 'It is a hard row to hoe, isn't it? but you know that the worst thing that could happen is that you'll be rejected again. He might spurn your wisdom. So what? If you embrace what God is doing in setting you free of the crippling I'll wait-and-see-how-he'll-treat-me attitude, then the minimum good is that Christ is alive in you, and you know him and his love, and you change. And the best that can happen is that you can be an agent of the glory of God in this man's life, as well as with your kids, who observe every tone of voice and facial expression. God alone know, but it is possibly for this marriage to be restored. Your sins and his sins are the only two things making it incinerate. As you deal with yours and find grace, then you'll have grace to give. The rest is between your husband and the Lord.'...."
"I once talked with a woman who was picking through the rubble of her marriage. Her husband had treated her very badly, rejecting and betraying her. But she has also contributed to the demolitions of love. She had lived a lifestyle of fear, passivity, and what we came to call her 'I'll-wait-and-see-how-he'll-treat-me' attitude. Over the years she had drifted and nursed her self-pity, rather than wrestling with herself in order to love her husband and fighting to save her marriage. She now faced yet another fork in the road: either continue in the old lifestyle driven by fear of man or forge a new lifestyle driven by faith in Christ. She would have many opportunities to interact with him as the divorce proceedings played out.
"While all this is going on, Christ calls her to deal with God about the log in her own eye, He calls her to bring grace and forgiveness into the rubble. He calls her to speak candid, constructive words to her husband. He calls her to a bold humility, not a cowardly self-absorption.
"She was struggling with all this, but starting to light up. I could finally say to her, 'It is a hard row to hoe, isn't it? but you know that the worst thing that could happen is that you'll be rejected again. He might spurn your wisdom. So what? If you embrace what God is doing in setting you free of the crippling I'll wait-and-see-how-he'll-treat-me attitude, then the minimum good is that Christ is alive in you, and you know him and his love, and you change. And the best that can happen is that you can be an agent of the glory of God in this man's life, as well as with your kids, who observe every tone of voice and facial expression. God alone know, but it is possibly for this marriage to be restored. Your sins and his sins are the only two things making it incinerate. As you deal with yours and find grace, then you'll have grace to give. The rest is between your husband and the Lord.'...."
Saturday, October 6, 2012
Numbers 13-14 (Trust and Faith)
"You are now living in the real world. Happy for you." ~Spiritual Dad
The passage talks when 12 spies were called to check on the Promised Land. After 40 days, they brought with them fruits and news of what they saw. Ten spies said things that made people scared. However, Caleb told the Israelites that this land was the land the Lord had promised them and encouraged them that if the Lord was with them, the land would be theirs. But the people heard and saw only the things the ten spies told them. And the Lord was angry at them, though God was merciful, forgiving, slow to anger, and loved His own, God still had to punish them. God told them to leave the place and go back near the Red Sea and that anyone from 20yo up were to die first before Israel entered the Promised Land. The spies were also stricken a deadly sickness except Joshua and Caleb who trusted and had faith in God.
Me of little faith. I fail to focus on the good when I am in the down, especially when my emotions attack my physical body, I lose faith and trust.
Dear God, I am very sorry for my lack of faith and lack of trust. I am sorry for forgetting you and losing focus. Spare me your wrath, I am sorry. Please teach me. Enable me to remember you always. And though I have remembered you, enable me to stand against the pain, the hurt, the emotions attacking my spirit, mind, and body. Help me win against the deception of the enemy. Enable me to live according to your will. Let your kingdom come and your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Enable me to remember that I don't belong here and I belong in you. This place is just temporary, yet let me learn to live according to your will. Enable me to remember the promise that you are with me and you will fight my battles. Let me trust you. Have me faith that can move mountains. You are God and I am sorry I forget that many times when things don't go well. Help me, dear God. Let me be with you always. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
The passage talks when 12 spies were called to check on the Promised Land. After 40 days, they brought with them fruits and news of what they saw. Ten spies said things that made people scared. However, Caleb told the Israelites that this land was the land the Lord had promised them and encouraged them that if the Lord was with them, the land would be theirs. But the people heard and saw only the things the ten spies told them. And the Lord was angry at them, though God was merciful, forgiving, slow to anger, and loved His own, God still had to punish them. God told them to leave the place and go back near the Red Sea and that anyone from 20yo up were to die first before Israel entered the Promised Land. The spies were also stricken a deadly sickness except Joshua and Caleb who trusted and had faith in God.
Me of little faith. I fail to focus on the good when I am in the down, especially when my emotions attack my physical body, I lose faith and trust.
Dear God, I am very sorry for my lack of faith and lack of trust. I am sorry for forgetting you and losing focus. Spare me your wrath, I am sorry. Please teach me. Enable me to remember you always. And though I have remembered you, enable me to stand against the pain, the hurt, the emotions attacking my spirit, mind, and body. Help me win against the deception of the enemy. Enable me to live according to your will. Let your kingdom come and your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Enable me to remember that I don't belong here and I belong in you. This place is just temporary, yet let me learn to live according to your will. Enable me to remember the promise that you are with me and you will fight my battles. Let me trust you. Have me faith that can move mountains. You are God and I am sorry I forget that many times when things don't go well. Help me, dear God. Let me be with you always. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
Friday, October 5, 2012
Numbers 12 (Jealousy)
This passage is about sibling rivalry and jealousy between Aaron and Miriam towards Moses because God talks close to Moses. God doesn't excuse jealousy, He speaks to Moses because he is the least proud person that time and God trusts that he can lead the people.
I still don't seem to understand the gravity of jealousy. What about it that the 2 siblings would be jealous of Moses because God favored Moses more because Moses was humble, and God became angry with the two?
I got jealous with a spiritual sister (a year older than me) because our spiritual mother (former) favored her more or hugged her more, taught her about God more. I got jealous like I was jealous when I was 5yo towards my baby brother. My doctor and her told me that she had given me the special attention and would take more time and patience with me. However, because of my jealousy (also towards her boyfriend), my church mother got angry at me and one of the reasons she left me.
I get jealous, envious, and then self-pity when I see people doing what I wish for but cannot even have, such as a hug, a quality time with others...and because I don't belong or I'm weird, I'm a loner. I've had many counselors/help already, and they just leave and give up. Would I also experience this with my new spiritual mom? What about my spiritual dad? Both of them are no longer of my city. Dad left because he needed to be near his father's family. Mom only came here for an on-the-job training from her seminary. They're reasonable. At least they didn't leave me by giving up. They only physically left unlike the others, they neglected.
I still don't seem to understand the gravity of jealousy. What about it that the 2 siblings would be jealous of Moses because God favored Moses more because Moses was humble, and God became angry with the two?
I got jealous with a spiritual sister (a year older than me) because our spiritual mother (former) favored her more or hugged her more, taught her about God more. I got jealous like I was jealous when I was 5yo towards my baby brother. My doctor and her told me that she had given me the special attention and would take more time and patience with me. However, because of my jealousy (also towards her boyfriend), my church mother got angry at me and one of the reasons she left me.
I get jealous, envious, and then self-pity when I see people doing what I wish for but cannot even have, such as a hug, a quality time with others...and because I don't belong or I'm weird, I'm a loner. I've had many counselors/help already, and they just leave and give up. Would I also experience this with my new spiritual mom? What about my spiritual dad? Both of them are no longer of my city. Dad left because he needed to be near his father's family. Mom only came here for an on-the-job training from her seminary. They're reasonable. At least they didn't leave me by giving up. They only physically left unlike the others, they neglected.
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Numbers 10 - 11 (Trust)
God is a Guide. He is THE LORD. He gives yet he also punishes.
God is scary. We/I shouldn't be demanding to have what I really want, and then not be so greedy when I have it.
The Israelites complained wanted more food than what they already have. Moses became very angry that he complained to God that why was he chosen to lead this people who wanted their way, yet He still trusted God and obeyed, telling the people what God had said. God still gave what the Israelites wanted but killed them those who were so greedy. God also shared Moses' responsibility to prophesy to other leaders to comfort and help Moses even for just this one time.
God is a Provider and Comforter. If we/I just share to God my worries, concerns, and complains to him, yet still trust and obey, God will grant something good for me.
He is God and He can't be underestimated.
Dear God, I am imperfect and I sin against you. For some times, if not many times, I lose focus of you and follow my own ways, trust my own terms. I am sorry. Enable me to always rely on you, remember you, be mindful you. Teach me to be more and more like you, to be more like Christ. Forgive me, dear God. Don't be angry at me. Thank you for the people you brought to me. Thank you for reaching out to me through your Word and your people. I pray, dear God, that they, this time, will not leave me, that we will not fight. I pray, dear God, that for those who have failed me. They may not know that they have failed and and wronged me. Father, forgive them. Though, in my heart, I am very hurt and I want them to repay for what they have done. God let me, enable me to forgive them as you would forgive me. There are in your hands. Just let me get to know you more, have more time with you. Enjoy and glorify you, my Lord, my God, my Father. In Jesus' name, Amen.
Dear God, I am imperfect and I sin against you. For some times, if not many times, I lose focus of you and follow my own ways, trust my own terms. I am sorry. Enable me to always rely on you, remember you, be mindful you. Teach me to be more and more like you, to be more like Christ. Forgive me, dear God. Don't be angry at me. Thank you for the people you brought to me. Thank you for reaching out to me through your Word and your people. I pray, dear God, that they, this time, will not leave me, that we will not fight. I pray, dear God, that for those who have failed me. They may not know that they have failed and and wronged me. Father, forgive them. Though, in my heart, I am very hurt and I want them to repay for what they have done. God let me, enable me to forgive them as you would forgive me. There are in your hands. Just let me get to know you more, have more time with you. Enjoy and glorify you, my Lord, my God, my Father. In Jesus' name, Amen.
I'm back
Hello Blogger.
It's been so long. Here's a quick update. My "rest" is done.
I am back to my home church, obeying God to set an example to the believers in speech, in love, in life, in faith, and purity (1 Tim. 4:12), and to follow and serve God in His terms. It's going to be a difficult challenge for me, especially that I have to somehow help reform my home church. There's still an awkward connection with my church mother though.
I have also, finally, found a job. My boss is a church mate. This is a privilege and an opportunity to grow up (literally) and for Christ. Be taught, trained, and be equipped to become a leader.
I'm still a bit a lone ranger Christian, but with my new spiritual mother from another city is willing to help me out. She's going to call. I would still be contacting my spiritual father.
Anyway.. =)
It's been so long. Here's a quick update. My "rest" is done.
I am back to my home church, obeying God to set an example to the believers in speech, in love, in life, in faith, and purity (1 Tim. 4:12), and to follow and serve God in His terms. It's going to be a difficult challenge for me, especially that I have to somehow help reform my home church. There's still an awkward connection with my church mother though.
I have also, finally, found a job. My boss is a church mate. This is a privilege and an opportunity to grow up (literally) and for Christ. Be taught, trained, and be equipped to become a leader.
"It is an opportunity from God that He had called me to be where I am so that I may glorify His name by making Him known to others."There may be some changes. My next entries would be journals, mostly from devotionals.
I'm still a bit a lone ranger Christian, but with my new spiritual mother from another city is willing to help me out. She's going to call. I would still be contacting my spiritual father.
Anyway.. =)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)