I am burdened that I am a sinner. I am burdened that there is no perfect church. Much more I am burdened that people are comfortable and what they can see within their reach is what they only reach. I am burdened to see visions and I am still far from reaching that vision.
I am also burdened that the day is short and I am torn in halves. What can I do for the family, I'm out of the house for 12 hrs and arrive home with less time for the family and we're already tired. I still have books to read & study, and spend more time with God. I also need to grow and develop relationships with others, be with people, relieving loneliness and staying home, helpless.
May God take care of my family. "Is that a Christian way to do.....?" I can't take care of my family. I'm not supergirl. As much as I hope to help, I'm tired already. My mother's sacrifice that after work she still works at home, 
. Helpless. She complains but I am unable to help her everything, but only a portion of what she expects. 
I also can't proxy my brother's errands when he neglects. I try, even just listen to my mother's complains and blames tho it isn't my mistake. I rather just accept that it's mine. That every complains and blames are my mistakes and doings. Yet most times, I get annoyed and frustrates. I pray that I stop being irritated easily and just submit.
I am not just a professional and a daughter (and friend), I am also a Christian...and people expects a lot from a Christian, even expects us to be their saver or a "baggage counter" or proxy or whatever else that is beyond the norms/usuals of a human being's task on this earth. A Christian is not normal, a Christian is more than just normal. A Christian is appointed to take care? Just like God appointed Adam and Eve to take care of the earth. Yet as flesh and blood of Adam and Eve, we all are appointed to take care but because of the fall, that divine appointment? is corrupted. So, because our relationship with God is being restored to be like that of Adam and Eve before the Fall, our usual tasks are added with the divine tasks called/appointed to us by our Father, yet it's VERY HARD. I thank God for sending Jesus Christ to have allowed us to see what we have not seen for a very long time ago, that relationship with the Father. I also thank God for the Holy Spirit guiding us and caring for us when we can't take care of ourselves and the people being brought to us to take care, our families, friends, and office mates, and a stranger.
May "this" continue on and not be trashed by my feeble mind...on and off.
