Need a Savior (Praying/Complaining)

I'm losing patience about my new venture, contact not telling us accurately, and not answering us always when we ask for updates.

I feel guilty staying long at work. I'm not excelling anymore, my learning is shifted from work to "Christianity". That's where my mind is always focused.

I want to have more time involved with people/ministry. I need bigger salary. I'm thinking of starting business already, a business which I can carry wherever I go. I'm thinking of networking business, full-time than part-time. Not this work here and networking business there. I want to have more time with people, and hopefully to read more. Father!

I also don't want to be with computers anymore, it's crippling me. Ya, it's a blessing so I can communicate with others more, but it's not the same traditionally. I thought that if ever I'm in my next venture, away from comfort zone, I want to just write letters than email. Wish I can give up Facebook. But Father, I want a tablet/ebook.

Father, I'm spoiled aren't I? How will I learn if I'm spoiled. Father, I want to change. Please, speak the gospel to me, teach me how to also speak the gospel to myself. Father, help me understand things I need to understand. Help me trust you, Father. Forgive me. I don't want to try my best anymore just to be good because I can never be good and I can't do it. Father, please enable me. I'm idealistic, teach me to keep it cool. Father, help me be at peace in you. Please, Father.


Father, I am also embarrassed that I don't understand your Word and sacrifice. Father, I have things in mind about it, but how come it doesn't reach to my heart? Father forgive me for my hardened heart. I really want to change. Father, please speak to me the gospel. Let me always experience your love and grace. Help me.

I am also remembering my sins from past that still is with me now. Like coveting. When we receive gifts and when I see that others' gift is better than mine or want what they have, I pout. Now, I envy people who have more friends and spend more time and a chat with them more than I do. It's like it's natural to them have gained such friends when it's always an effort on my part. It's like they are more blessed than I do. Father, teach me to see my blessings when I envy and covet. Father, forgive me of my sins. Father, please help me.

Christmas isn't always the Happiest Time of Year

Not everyone enjoys Christmas. Not everyone has friends for Christmas or blessed with an okay family.

And those lonely during the Christmas season are marginalized, they are afraid to even seek help or seek company during Christmas, because they are afraid to spoil others' Christmas.

The blessed would even sometimes forget these lonely ones. Though the blessed shares to poor people, do outreaches, but what about those poor at heart? The blessed gets busy with their blessings that they forget some of their neighbors aren't as blessed as they are, and mostly without them knowing it.

At this time of year, what truly is Christmas? Where is Jesus Christ? What can the blessed do? What can the lonely do other than self-pity?

When people post online how blessed they are, how loved, how thankful, how whatevers-happy-to-receive-gifts, there are also those who read those posts and wallow in self-pity because they have none of what others post.

Deuteronomy 15 - Giving

What we have is not our own, but the Lord's who has given to us. Therefore, we are to give what we have to others who are in need. We are just mere ambassadors of God's properties: be it money, house, car, our life, love, family, care, mercy, and even grace.

Deuteronomy 13 - Case Laws

1) Prophets who prophesies fulfilled signs and wonders, even if they claim to be from the Lord, but speaks a false teaching, not spoken in God's Word.....is definitely not from God and we be not listening to them.

2) Family, relatives, and friends who are as your own soul leading you to do what is not pleasing to God......is punishable by God and we not yield to them.

3) Certain worthless fellows drawing away people from God......they are accountable to God's wrath but we are to inquire and search and ask diligently if the "news" is true or certain or if just a rumor.

The Beautiful Precious Pearl (The Oyster Story)

A speck of sand entered an oyster.
The oyster suffers and covers it with its own body fluid to heal itself.
But no matter how the oyster tries to heal itself, the sand still irritated it.
Years and years go by, the oyster carries its pain.
Then an oyster-fisherman comes and collects the oyster,
opens the oyster and out comes, not a sand, but a beautiful precious pearl.

Just as the oyster suffered, Jesus Christ suffered on the cross.
The oyster tried to heal itself with its secretions, Jesus shed his blood.
Like the oyster-fisherman collected the oyster, Jesus ascended to heaven and sat at the right hand of God the Father.
We were that sand that turned into a beautiful precious pearl.
We didn't turn into a pearl by ourselves but God alone did.

"And this is my story." - 丽珍 (Li - "beautiful"; Zhen - "precious pearl")

Santa says, Jesus says

Santa says, "I'm making a list and checking it twice, gonna find out who's naughty or nice. I know if you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness' sake. You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, 'cause I'm telling you why, I am Santa Claus and I am coming to town. If you do good, I will love you and give you anything you want if you ask."

Jesus says, "I know you are not good, no not one of you, you can do nothing apart from me, so I'm coming into the world through the womb of a virgin conceived by the Holy Spirit. I will be born in Bethlehem in a manger wrapped in swaddling clothes. I will grow up to be a carpenter in Nazareth and proclaim the kingship of God is at hand. I will be teaching you and I will feel what you feel. I will be hurt just as you are hurt. I will be tempted and persecuted. I will be crucified on the cross like a Lamb. My blood will be shed to atone for you. I will be buried for three days. I will then be resurrected to prepare a place for you, to redeem you as my own. Only in my love, you will learn to love me and love others, and learn to do good for I will enable you with the help of my Holy Spirit."

In response to: http://theresurgence.com/2013/12/11/3-tips-for-sharing-jesus-with-others-this-christmas

Trevin Wax - Seven Arrows for Bible Reading (TGC)

Source: http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/trevinwax/2013/10/22/7-arrows-for-bible-reading/

What is Christmas?

I hate Christmas..

With all the stockings hanging on the fireplace
With all the ornaments hanging on a tree
With all the gifts displayed under the tree
With all the.. "Ooh! Discounts!!!"
With all the lists and what and who to give
With all the cheers of thank yous this is what I ever wanteds
With all the wishlists, "I want this"-es
With all the boohoos I'll be lonely this Christmas-es
With all the gatherings ending up a shattering
With all the lonely people, sitting quietly, cannot relate with Christmas
Because Christmas is all about love to share, smiles to wear, sorrys to bear

But I don't hate Christmas when it's all
because of being adopted as sons of the Most High
through Jesus Christ the Son of God.
His coming was a celebration.
His second coming will be a more than a mega-celebration.

I don't hate Christmas..
If it's all about reaching out the lonely
And make them feel like family
If all Christmas mambo-jumbo is being set aside
To prioritize the neighbor you're sitting beside
If 90% of the parties is really all about worshiping
The God of heaven and earth who did all the creating

But there is still so much more to know about Christmas
behind all those holiday and festive, and yuletide cheers.

What is Christmas?

Merry Christmas vs. Happy Happy Gifting Season

At this time of year, majority of the people of  the world knows that "Christmas" is when we put up Christmas decorations, make Christmas shopping lists (what's for Junior, for Susie, for godchildren, for Mom, for Dad, for siblings, for hubby-bunny, for beauty wifey... endless lists..), Christmas salary bonuses, that Nativity figurines, Christmas carols and chorale, Santa Claus and reindeers and elves, Christmas movies, Christmas whatevers-just-add-Christmas-as-an-adjective.... It's the happy happy season of the year.

And then there's a few people you might have met who would say, "I hate Christmas." And then we think of

them as heartless or whatever we'd like to call them, The Grinch, The Scrooge. And we just leave them be in their mediocre lonely life, just because they don't know Christmas or hate Christmas, as we continue to celebrate this happy happy season.

Something's wrong. Though we say that Christmas is all about Jesus Christ's coming, "Joy to the World", but we're busy with all those mentioned above. We don't want a grumpy sulky person to ruin our season, right?

Jesus said to love one another, even the unloveables. Jesus said to welcome a person with the gospel, and bear each other's burdens. Jesus said that we reach others; in His authority, we go, make disciples, teach, and baptize. Jesus said to worship and praise Him, to look up to Him. Jesus said that we must look highly of others' interest than of our own.

We are blessed with all those Christmas stuffs and bonuses. Blessed to have your family reunion complete. Blessed for the company of good friends. Blessed receiving so many gifts.

Every Christmas, there are people who dread Christmas. And this is the right time to be reaching out to these lonely and sad (masked by grumpiness) people. Know why these people are so heartless for Christmas. Jesus said the to rich man to "sell everything you have." This Christmas, can you try celebrating Christmas differently? No Christmas adjectives, but let us look to the needs of others and share our blessings. Share the grace freely given to us. Aren't we selfish enough to be enjoying these graces and blessings and forget the unhappy in a happy happy season?

If you are one of those Grinch and Scrooge, I am also talking to you. This season is one of my painful seasons. But I choose not to sulk myself and push people away because I can't relate and understand their cheery celebrations. This Christmas is all about Jesus Christ, the King of kings and Lord of Lords, the Savior who died on the cross to redeem His people and bring them to His family, and also reach out to others for our King.

I owe this grace to the people who are lonely this Christmas. It is my challenge and prayer and hope that this Christmas, my parents will allow me to stay away from the house, hope to find someone random or from the streets and invite them for a meal. It is my joy to share to them my Father and King.

Please pray for me, I'll pray that many will be able to read this and hope to do the same, but not as the same as how I'm going to do it. Just use your imagination. Don't wait for someone to come to you because you hate Christmas. Be the one to find someone. Let's do it together in spirit. This is a blessing (and challenge) that you have read my blog. Thank you for reading. May this Christmas truly be merry. God bless you.

An Orphan's Story

When I was in 2nd grade, I started feeling I was an orphan. Ya, I had parents, biological parents, and I lived with them. In 3rd grade, I kept asking my young teen aged aunts, "Am I adopted?"

"No! Of course not. We saw you when you were born. You were so small." "Really?" I asked. "Yes!" was there reply. "If I am not adopted, how come I feel like an orphan?" They didn't know what to answer.

For years, I still thought I was adopted. I was wondering if adoption and being an orphan was a good thing or not, but many more years later, finding out that I really was my parents' child, I hoped that if only I was adopted by another family. That time, I learned that adoption was a good thing. I would even fantasize and stay in that fantasy because I felt safe with a real Mom and Dad.

Growing older and entering puberty, I thought, "God. Who is God? They say He's a Father and He loves me. What kind of Father is He?"

Ya, I received Jesus as my Lord and Savior, I think, in 4th Grade. Went to Sunday School and Bible Studies. Went to church! But I still don't know God.

As I grew older, slowly I began to know who God was. I began to want to know more about Him, more about the Bible. I finished reading the Bible, but I still didn't understand, "Who is God? Who am I?"

Years and years, I was blessed to have biological parents but didn't know God, but my biological father used to read to me Bible stories and pray with me before I went to sleep. Blessed to have "teachers" but failed to help me further understand God and the Bible. Years and years, I grew a longing for the orphans, I could feel their pain and abandonment. Later, I got to experience a true orphan, adopted by some of my friends. He's my favorite kid. I received only one hug from him since he was with us, and I longed to have that hug again. However, began to remember that I too was an orphan.

Now that I am a young adult. I have a Father. I can't see Him, but He sees me. He has been by my side when I was still a wee old. When I was hurt, He was just right there beside me. All those poems and letters I wrote with my little hands and soaked with my big tears, He was reading behind my shoulders. That time when I felt I was an orphan, God was already taking me into His arms, even before I "received Jesus into my life."

But because I can't hear my Father, I can't touch my Father, He sent two of His children to be my spiritual parents, who loved me, taught me His Word, moreover taught me about our Father and told me, "God is our Heavenly Father. God chose you to know Him. He calls you Beloved." It may have taken longer before God brought me my spiritual parents, maybe because He is teaching me more of Him and that people can fail even if they are His children. That He alone is the only Supreme Parent.

God the Father will not leave me nor forsake me, I have been His and I am His alone.

I thank God that He brought me my spiritual parents, but I still pray to God not to take my Mum and Dad, my spiritual parents away, and I pray that Mum and Dad will remain faithful to Him. I do fear that someday God will take away my Mum and Dad, "Father, don't let me have a fight with them and/or our relationship shattered. I'm sorry that sometimes I rely and long more for my Mum and Dad, and less of You. Just don't take them away. Pleease, Father. Still remind me that You alone are my Great Father. Forgive me of my fear, teach me, enable me to trust in you. Please take away my fear."

Quest for a Heart Diagnosis

I started having chest discomforts since 4th grade. But few days ago, we only played a party game of popping balloons. My heart rate shot up to 128 beats per minute. The pain location was where one could feel their heart beat. (My normal rested rate is 67 beats per minute.)

Just posting my expenses (most of my expenses this year are medical expenses):

Doctor's consultation fee: 400
2nd consultation fee: 400
ECG: 300
2D Echocardiogram: 2750
Blood Test: 2328
TOTAL: 6178

My current salary: 4180
Savings from salary: 1180
Planned expense til next salary: 3000

Savings withdrawn: 3520 + 1000 = 4520

Sad. But not worried. There's an inkling not to continue w/ this diagnosis, but better to know what's wrong with me now, before it's too late. I'm not worried for my health nor my wealth. I'm not seeing the doctor to give me peace of mind. With all these blessings laid out for me, even if it means taking away my savings, do I not have to thank God for these blessings: still able to pay for the expenses, good doctors, availability of tests, still able-bodied to visit the clinics/hospitals. I trust in my Father. He has given all these blessings for us to enjoy/use.

Can we not thank Him for these? He gave us a job. He gave us the ability to work. He gave us our salary for us to spend on our wants and needs, and share with others who don't have.

I thank God for all these.

Before my diagnosis, I pray the tests are enough for a diagnosis, so no more tests and expenses. I also pray that the diagnosis is well. But if the tests turn out not enough or the diagnosis is bad, I still praise God. After the diagnosis, I still want to praise Him and proclaim His name to people. I pray that I can serve God. If there be hindrances, I just trust God and still hope and pray that I can still proclaim His name.

Father, forgive me for my selfishness that sometimes I think highly of myself or better than others. Father, enable to think lowly of myself and that others are better than me, that their interests are better than me. Even if I think what they think is illogical or incomprehensible, enable me to trust in your reigning authority and assurance. Father, forgive me, teach me. Help me not to be selfish. In Jesus' name, Amen.

In praise, I can humble.
In sorrow, I can trust.
In others, I judge. :-(

10 Errors to Avoid When Talking about Sanctification and the Gospel

Error #1: The good we do can in some small way make us right with God.
Error #2: We must be good Christians so that God will keep loving us.
Error #3: If sanctification is a work of divine grace in our lives, then it must not involve our effort.
Error #4: Warning people of judgment is law and has no part to play in preaching the gospel.
Error #5: There is only one reason Christians should pursue sanctification and that's because of our justification.
Error #6: Since we cannot obey God's commandments perfectly, we should not insist on obedience from ourselves or from others.
Error #7: The Ten Commandments should be preached in order to remind us of our sin, but not so that believers may be stirred up to try to obey the commandments.
Error #8: Being fully justified as Christians, we should never fear displeasing God or offending him.
Error #9: The only proper ground for assurance is in the promises of God found in the gospel.
Error #10: Threats and exhortations belong to the terrors of the law and are not to be used as a motivation unto holiness.

Source: http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/kevindeyoung/2013/11/05/10-errors-to-avoid-when-talking-about-sanctification-and-the-gospel/

All Human Authority is Appointed by God

Appreciate that though grownups (our elders) tell us things against what we think is right, even when it's
illogical and incomprehensible, God still appointed them on our behalf. God's assurance is that He is working behind-the-scenes. Maybe God is showing us something better than what we think is right. God is in control of everything.

Reflection on Deuteronomy & Thanksgiving for Dec7'13

Deuteronomy is an account re-announcing what God had done to Israel since He brought them out of Egypt, and in the wilderness, He's preparing them for His promise for a Land flowing of Milk & Honey.

Reflection: It's Christmas. It's the end of the year. Time to look back and remember what God has done, His faithfulness, His holiness, His reigning AUTHORity, and what we did, our good & our bad, our need for a Savior. And a reminder of Christ's coming just as the OT people looking forward to the coming Messiah.

Thanksgiving:

1. Working w/ fellow Christians from other churches and different ministries.
2. Spiritual family. Found in the WWW (Whole Wide World). Though not present in the flesh, but present in spirit with one goal & one desire: To glorify the One True God. Supplementing one another with love cos God first Loved us.

Is Jesus waiting?

Driving home, I ran across a billboard sign that says "Jesus is waiting. Come fast. Don't let him wait long enough." Hence, I asked in my thoughts, "Is Jesus really waiting?"

In Genesis, Abraham grew up in pagan roots, but God called him: Now the LORD said to Abram, "Go out from your country, your relatives, and your father's household to the land that I will show you." - Genesis 12:1

Then came Jacob the Deceiver, who left his family running away from Esau, his brother's revenge, but God met him: Then he fell asleep in that place and had a dream. He saw a stairway erected on the earth with its top reaching to the heavens. The angels of God were going up and coming down it and the LORD stood at its top. He said, "I am the LORD, the God of your grandfather Abraham and the God of your father Isaac. I will give you and your descendants the ground you are lying on. I am with you! I will protect you wherever you go and will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I promised you!" - Genesis 28:11b-12, 15

Jesus' disciples were doing their business before Jesus called them to become His disciples: As he was walking by the Sea of Galilee he saw two brothers, Simon (called Peter) and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea (for they were fishermen). He said to them, "Follow me, and I will turn you into fishers of people." They left their nets immediately and followed him. Going on from there he saw two other brothers, James the son of Zebedee and John his brother, in a boat with Zebedee their father, mending their nets. Then he called them. They immediately left the boat and their father and followed him. - Matthew 4:18-22

So, is Jesus waiting? Is He waiting for sinners to follow Him, accept Him as Lord and Savior, believe in Him, confess their sins?

Ephesians 2:8 - For by grace you are saved through faith, and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God.

Faith, grace, and salvation only comes from God, and not from ourselves. Can we be able to choose to be saved? Can we, creatures of God, choose whether to believe in Him or not? Will Jesus really wait for us until we make a decision to believe in Him? By no means, "consequently faith comes from what is heard, and what is heard comes through the preached word of Christ." (Romans 10:17)

And where does the "word of Christ" comes from? From God Himself. From God's calling. From God's spoken Word. From the gospel being preached by those who heard the call of God through His Holy Spirit.

Thank God for He has called you after you heard His gospel preached. Thank Him for the faith that is in you. Thank Him that He enabled you and chosen you to come to know Him. Thank Him He called you.

Now, with Jesus' command: "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age." - Matthew 28:18-20

Do we have to make Jesus wait before we do what He told us to do, to spread the Word so they can hear and be called by God? No, we have to obey else we disobey His command. Take heed though, not all who hear the Word, hears. They're not making Jesus wait before they believe in Him, they are rebelling against their Creator.

But I ask, have they not heard? Yes, they have: Their voice has gone out to all the earth, and their words to the ends of the world. But again I ask, didn't Israel understand? First Moses says, "I will make you jealous by those who are not a nation; with a senseless nation I will provoke you to anger." And Isaiah is even bold enough to say, "I was found by those who did not seek me; I became well known to those who did not ask for me." But about Israel he says, "All day long I held out my hands to this disobedient and stubborn people!" - Romans 10:18-21

"I was found by those who did not seek me; I became well known to those who did not ask for me."

For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of people who suppress the truth by their unrighteousness, because what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. For since the creation of the world his invisible attributes --- his eternal power and divine nature --- have been clearly seen, because they are understood through what has been made. So people are without excuse. For although they knew God, they did not glorify him as God or give him thanks, but they became futile in their thoughts and their senseless hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for an image resembling mortal human beings or birds or four-footed animals or reptiles. Therefore God gave them over in the desires of their hearts to impurity, to dishonor their bodies among themselves. - Romans 1:18-24

On Jesus' Lap

And they were bringing children to him that he might touch them, and the disciples rebuked them. But when Jesus saw it, he was indignant and said to them, “Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.” And he took them in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands on them. - Mark 10:13-16

He took a little child and had him stand among them. Taking him in his arms, he said to them, "Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me, and whoever welcomes me does not welcome me but the one who sent me." - Mark 9:36-37

Imagine you were one of those children. You wanted to go near to the most famous man the town or the whole country was talking about. You thought, "Who is this man whom grownups say that he has made wonders and loves any people he meets? If he sees me, can he love me too? Can he come and play with me?"

Walking towards the man, you were almost there, close to his side. You raised your arm to touch his cloak, get his attention. Then two of his bodyguards saw you, they shoved you away and said, "This is no place for children."

Heartbroken, you thought, "He doesn't love me," and you walked back to your house. Then you heard someone calling your name. You looked back and saw the scary man walking towards you. Petrified, you wanted to run away, but could not because of fear, "Oh no," you freaked.

The man, now standing in front of you, and you, didn't know what to do, bowed your head and waited. Then suddenly he took you in his arms and walked back to the crowd. He sat down and you sat on his lap.

How would you feel that you're sitting on the lap of the King of kings and Lord of lords. The lap of the One who made the heavens and the earth. The lap of the One who made you and loved you even before you've known Him. He even took you in His arms and embraced you. You could feel his macho arms, you could lay your head on His shoulders.

Sit on the lap of Jesus and learn from Him through His Word with the guidance of His Holy Spirit.

Reflections on Podcasts (Mark 6:1-6)

"Familiarity breeds contempt; therefore, seek and know God. God is astonished with unbelief & belief from unexpected faiths." - Mark 6:1-6 (Kevin DeYoung)

"It is not me who will direct my path but God. God knows where He will call someone to faith, not me. I just have to wait upon the Lord where He leads. If I have to stay I must learn perseverance, dwell in Christ, rest in Christ, and continue in believing, not in unbelief." - Mark 6:1-6 (Paul Tripp)

"To dwell in Christ and to rest in Christ, I would say pray & learn more about Him through His Word."

Christmas 2013's Coming

Christmas is almost here..... and it's usually one of my loneliest holidays.

Growing up, I always looked forward for Christmas because of the many gifts I was getting but when I became a teenager, those gifts stopped coming. We also no longer stay all night 'til midnight. Some Christmases, I awoke from the fireworks celebrating Christmas time had arrived. I would go out from my room, look out from our patio and just cry, "we don't have Christmas."

Slowly learning that Christmas was about Jesus' birth.... I longed to be in the fellowship of Christians so we could all celebrate our King's birth, but my friends have families to spend time with and celebrate Christmas, and receiving love and presents. Though knowing that Christmas was all about Jesus' birth, I still didn't know why would he come to earth to die on the cross to save us, just so we could have a relationship with God the Father.

I am still learning the answer to that question, yet I am thankful to have read this devotional by John Piper, and learning to celebrate the Advent before Christ's birth. I now wonder why "Christians" no longer celebrate and remember the Advent. The Advent prepares us to the grand celebration and thanksgiving of Jesus, God the Son's coming. I still rarely receive gifts, if none, at least just one gift is more than enough.... but if none at all, knowing Christ is greater than any gift I would receive.

Download here: http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/books/good-news-of-great-joy

Letter to my Spiritual Mother

Dear Mamu,

Thank you for being my spiritual Mum
Showing me who our Father is and who Jesus is
Thank you for helping me understand stuff
Helping me know what right and wrong is

Thank you for welcoming me into your family
Loving me and letting me feel God's love too
Thank you for cheering me up
Helping me remember our great God

Thank you for bearing me to the faith
And teaching me how to read the Bible
Thank you for prompting me to continue learning
And always reminding to read my Bible

Thank you for correcting me when I need it
Scolding me when I have to be
Thank you for teaching me, Mamu
I thank God for you joyfully

Because we are still sinners
And living in a fallen world,
I pray that we remain faithful
Glad to see Mamu is faithful to God

I thank God for opening his arms
letting me experience what adoption means
welcoming me into his family
having me a spiritual family
having both spiritual parents
to teach me who he is

I love to keep on returning God's blessings
They are amass, yet I have not many words
To bless God back

Thank you Mamu

I miss you,

One & Only, Alone & Lonely

I may just be one & only, alone & lonely. Most times I feel so left out from this world that I don't feel very much loved. But I read this story from Tullian Tchividjian, Failure And One Way Love, and I am reminded.

Just a short thing to say and record this in this blog: There's no same love as the love God loves me. He never stops preserving me. Even when I don't know why I'm still here until now, but God still preserves me.

Needs versus God

I'm in a struggle. It's hard to succeed with something when you have a lack of skills and abilities, especially
those skills/abilities are those that are meant to be part of a person's growth and development, such as knowing how to plan, schedule, and organize tasks, living independently--knowing how to cook or take care of oneself, etcetera. It's also hard to find references for resume and/or for application for further studies when you have less friends or trusted companions.

I have even thought if I can move out from my parents' house, I can force myself to learn the things I need to learn to live independently, but I can't afford rent and my daily expenses.

It's easy to understand that I do not belong in this world because I don't find where I can belong in society or even the working world. However, if I am to be a light and salt to this world, don't I have to learn the things that a human-in-this-world have to be?

I'm looking into my needs. Guilty for I am not looking to God for my needs. It's just really very hard when I find no help or no one to even help me. Help is also expensive. Salary is too low to even help me with that. And working is so hard because of my inabilities. Who can help me? God, who? God, PLEASE help me.

I am so discouraged that I can't achieve what I want to achieve because I am unable to even reach beyond my inabilities.

Being left behind in the "normal growth and development" also makes me lonely.

Father, enable me to trust in you in my inabilities and uncertainties.

War in the Philippines (part 3) - Lots of Thanks

I'm not sure if this is part 3. However, we are just waiting for confirmation of the LST vessel to carry the goods and set sail straight to Zamboanga.

"Not to us, Lord, not to us, but to your name give glory, for the sake of your steadfast love and your faithfulness!" Psalm 115:1

Indeed, God is greatly to be praised amidst all these blessings, relief, and providence he has provided us. I thank for my biological father for providing his connection to help us with the transfer of the goods. I thank my officemate for her help and connection with TV networks. I thank for the lady who is incharge of the goods. I thank for my spiritual parents for their love and patience to teach me and disciple me. I thank also for my biological parents for having me. I thank for all those willing hearts in-and-out of Zamboanga helping out for the hungry and needy. Moroever, I thank God for his enablement.

I have faced many temptations, and I thank God for his deliverance. Temptation of pride, fear and anxiety, temptation of taking things into my own without acknowledging God, and the temptation to be forgetting God because of being so high and receiving so many praises.

May I stay focused and humbled when God provides me opportunities to help others, glorify Him, and display His wonders. Even when it looks hard or something that I wouldn't approve of, may God sustain me and forgive me when I fail him. I am just a fellow servant to God.

War in the Philippines (part 2)

After my mourning (slash) worry struggle for the chaos around the world (not just South Philippines), I circulated a letter with permission from a friend in the war zone. She was asking for help and support in cash or kind to provide relief for fellow evacuees. A parachurch foundation read the letter and was willing to provide for them.

The next day, my friend begged for help on how to transport the goods from Manila to Zamboanga via Cagayan de Oro. It was hard trying to find a way on how to transfer the goods. I called my parents for their military connection but they said the military had their hands full already. Then they said, also an officemate said, that we contact a TV network's foundation for help and advice.

Two days later, that's today (3rd day) as I am writing this, I'm still waiting to have a talk with the TV network's foundation. I have other ways in mind, but I have to wait for this meeting. If this meeting wouldn't be successful, then I can go out and ask for help from mission orgs and my church for help to transport the goods via land. Land transfer (8-12hrs travel from CDO to Zambo) is hard especially that rebels can block the truck and loot the goods. We hope to have the transfer by air.

Leaving details aside, how am I? Scared and overwhelmed. This responsibility is also my first time. The only ability I can do is imagine ways, find ideas, and connect with key contacts. I felt feverish and overwhelmed the first day I took this responsibility; I felt hot and getting a headache. Maybe I was just super-excited. Yester-night, I was feeling the fear that this might not happen. This morning, right when I woke up, I felt I might get embarrassed if this wouldn't happen. Even that whenever I hear anything that booms, I get traumatized suddenly though I'm not in the war field.

I also faced a temptation of pride, but I will to humble myself for I am just a servant of God. Both in high or low times, true Christians will be faced any kind of temptation.

I keep praying to trust in God and rely on Him for He is bigger than this event. I keep reminding myself the God is in control, my King is in control, He knows what is happening. I also rebuke myself that anxiety dishonors God. I will just continue to thank God, trust and rely on Him, things happen in his control. Him only is constant than the events we face in life. I even ask help for God to guard my thoughts and my heart from entertaining sin. God forgive me.

I take this responsibility because I want to help and to bring glory to God. It is my pleasure and gratitude that I am a child of God and a fellow servant to King Jesus.

My Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it in heaven. Give us this day, relief and providence for this responsibility for our Zambo fellowmen and siblings in Christ. Forgive me for dishonoring you with my fear and anxiety. Lead me not into temptation of pride and anxiety and self-centeredness, protect me from the evil one, guard my mind and heart. For yours alone is your kingdom, you power and your glory. May your work be displayed in this present time. In Jesus' name I pray, AMEN.

War in the Philippines (part 1)

Specifically in Zamboanga City, Philippines.

I just saw a video of the situation and heard gunshots. I remembered I told my mentor who asked me if I'd be on a mission field, would I be ready of what would happen?

I thought, "Meaning gunshots? Yes, I'm ready."

But hearing those gunshots on video, I could imagine myself curling by the corner and covering my ears. I did think too that if I'm in my comfort zone, I'd probably close my ears and hide in fear, but if I'm NOT in my comfort zone and no one to rely on, I could stand guard and help others. However, I may not know what my reaction would be, I might be just stunned.

So I'm sorry, I humble myself, for saying that courageous, idealistic thought that I can stand guard. Now I know better. I'm a coward. But....

"Behold, the Lord GOD comes with might, and his arm rules for him; behold, his reward is with him, and his recompense before him." Isaiah 40:10

Please pray for Zamboanga, Syria, Egypt, and the all over the world. Pray that Christians take heart in these heartbreaking circumstances and they remember whom they belong: What is your only comfort in life and death? Jesus Christ.

Receiving Grace and My Occupation For Free

"[Jesus Christ our Lord,] through whom we have received grace and    enter occupation    to bring about the obedience of faith for the sake of his name..." Romans 1:5

As I was listening to a sermon of John Piper from the series of Romans: By His Grace, for His Name, Through the Obedience of Faith, struggling with glorifying God in my current multimedia job, I started to see Romans 1:5 differently: Receiving grace AND my occupation, which is multimedia/computers, to bring about the obedience of faith for the sake of Christ.

It means that as I received God's grace for free through Jesus Christ and not from my works/deeds, I also received my job without working for it. I mean I did work for it like job searching and talking to the boss asking for vacancy. What I mean there "without working for it" is: God gave me this job because of his grace and not my own doing. By grace, God gave me this job with a higher than minimum wage, a job position with a supervisory power in it, a job that most days I did nothing because I had no work to do yet I was still paid. All this I didn't and still don't deserve yet God gave it to me. I have this job to grow in obedience to God, to grow in Christ-like character, to learn holiness, to learn a very lot of things. I have this job for the sake of Christ's name.

And I am guilty for complaining, for being discontented, for having less joy in this blessing God gave me, and for dishonoring God. Thence, I am humbled and I confess....and very sorry.

However, Romans 1:5 didn't end "for the sake of his name", rather "for the sake of his name among all nations." Now I wonder, how can my multimedia job be for among all nations?

"Ministry is usually towards other[s]." -spiritual mom/mentor/discipler

I still wonder what my ministry is. If my job is my ministry, how do people benefit from it?

• First, I obey and submit to my superiors who would instruct me of a task to do.
• Second, when I submit a design to the printers to print, they earn from us, and when they earn, the workers get their salary and are able to feed their families.
• Third, when we advertise using my streamer or facebook, people would be informed of our exhibits/promos/discounts/new products/location, and they would be satisfied for serving them.
• Fourth, when the store sells, we get our earnings as well or put up new branches.

So that's my ministry, I guess: (1) to submit to my authority, (2) others earned a salary, (3) satisfied people, and (4) our employees earn.

I guess that's my ministry.

Going back..... I got this job for Christ's sake and for among all nations. How can this job be for all nations? Nonetheless, my office mates are part of a nation, and this nation is part of all nations.

What were dreams, now become like hell

Can this new struggle be a new direction I have to take?
It seems that I can't back out from this going to China because parents are on my neck reminding me about it. I have a hard time planning, choosing, and deciding. I am scared and rely so much on others. I am still struggling how to work out with my 1yo current job: how I am to live a holy (and be a salt and light) life in my workplace where I work as a multimedia person who spends most times infront of the computer.

I struggle to escape from my parents demands. This study-and-teach in China is, well, almost close to my heart, but my parents promptings are becoming like hell. I choose to change my career to teaching because I really want to develop teaching and learn Mandarin, but my parents are making it hard for me. I wish they stop demanding so much and not even doing anything about it. That's not support, but more like hell.

Father, I am to trust you with all my heart and not lean on to this limited self-centered understanding of mine. Enable me to remember that in all my ways I am to acknowledge you.

Father, I am your beloved girl, but a rebel. I am so sorry. Father, I want nothing but you. I want to be close to you, be where you are, be able to hear more of you. Father, if it is you permit me to go to China, help me how to do this, give me wisdom. May your will be done in me and may I learn to live this life according to your will. Father, I still don't know so much about this world. Help me grow. Enable me, give me wisdom how to make use of my time. I am afraid to be reading books in the office because I don't want my office mates to think I am not busy, so I busy-body myself on the computer (Facebook) to lie to them that I am working. Forgive me. Give me the courage to study at work when I am not busy.

Father, may I lay myself to you. Give me strength to work every day satisfied and contented in you, glorifying you in whichever circumstance I am until I die. Forgive me of my discontentment. Give me wisdom. Enable me to know you more. In Jesus' name. Amen.

Grow? Be like Jesus

The world is sad and scary...so is adulthood. The more I see corruption in the hearts of man, the more I'm holding onto my child, making it hard and confusing for me to grow up.

I am aging with my peers but growing/developing late or lagging  behind my peers. Yet as I age, I am embarrassed that I am still young for my age not "knowing" or experiencing a lot about this life.

I want to grow up, but I don't like to be like them. That makes it hard and confusing to grow up.

Be like Jesus? Show me more of Jesus, so I can grow to be like Jesus.

Testimonies & God

God has done many great things from testimonies of other people, even testimonies from the people of Bible times, but how sure are we that God can do the same miracles to us?

Maybe God won't relieve someone's barrenness unlike God gave Hannah a son named Samuel. Maybe God won't regrow a missing ear unlike the soldier who arrested Jesus in Gethsemane. Maybe God won't help you stop smoking tomorrow unlike God did from those amazing testimonies of transformation. Maybe God won't change an unpleasant circumstance unlike God did to others. Maybe God won't return in twofold what you lost unlike God did with Job.

But who is God? That one will not change and that one we can absolutely know for certain and that one brings more joy than knowing His miracles. God is my Father and He knows best than what I already know.

Crying for Help in Everyday (about work/meeting & hunger for the gospel)

Father,

I'll be having a meeting with my boss later to discuss for plans to improve our business image. Father, I may need your help in speaking, just as you helped me the first time I taught in class as part of our practice teaching. Father, I acknowledge that teaching is your gift to me. You know I have trouble communicating but you become my voice, you know the words to say. Father, help me speak just as you helped Moses.

But Moses said to the Lord, "Oh my Lord, I am not eloquent, either in the past or since you have spoken to your servant, but I am slow of speech and of tongue." Then the Lord said to him "Who has made man's mouth? Who makes him mute, or deaf, or seeing, or blind? Is it not I , the Lord? Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall speak." - Exodus 4:10-12

Father, I also realize that if I hunger for the gospel now, how much more in the years to come, how much more if I'd be in the mission field, how much more if I'd be in the ministry, busy doing work for church or for others' spiritual growth. Father, I need you here with me. I am still fragile, protect me from the enemy's snare and stronghold over my thoughts.

Father, you are to be most glorified for you are my Father, my Creator, my Redeemer. Father, you are all I want. I want you and nothing else. Keep me strong for I weak. I can't imagine to have not known you. I want you to be glorified in me, but I am a sinner, there is nothing good in me. I fail you all the time. People see my flaws. Father, how can I be blameless? Father, help me. Amen.

Not Imagining To Do This Job Forever

Father,

I am not imagining myself to do this job forever. Father, I am alone. Help me.
Today, work is okay. Me? Well, down or a downer.

Father, I wish Mamu read my emails so she can evaluate my answers to her questions especially the explaining what "live is Christ, die is gain" mean, and answer about what calling to ministry actually mean.

Father, to pray that you won't take my struggles away is hard, but please always remind me why I have these struggles. Father, please don't make me feel lonely and be left alone. Please.

Discontent over Present Circumstances

Father, forgive me I am not content in my work, being unfulfilled, bored, and I really don't know what I am doing. Father, I'm being close-minded with my own wants. Forgive me also that I am not content living with my parents. I don't have enough salary to have my own place. If I can have my own place, I no longer have savings to save, I'm not even sure if my salary can also fit for my own needs. Father, I feel imprisoned.

I want more time to study and do my assignments. I want more time to be with people. I just want to be free.

Father forgive me I fail to be content with you and complaining about these things. You have everything I don't have. You can provide for all my needs. Father, save me. Save me from my boring, unfulfilling, low-salary job. Save me from living in my parents' house. Save me from being alone. Father, please save me.

I trust you can change my present situation, but why do I still have to stay here like this? Father, please, I can't take it any longer. Help me. Give me strength. Father, please. Abba!!

We Won't Be Shaken (Prayer for Forgiveness)

Father, forgive me of my lack of trust in you in times of overwhelm and weary of the woes present to me.
May I remember who I am in Christ.
May I remember your kingdom.
Father, may your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Give me this day as my day of rest and reflection in you. Catch up my study of your Word.
Forgive me, Father, and help me forgive my family, my church, and the torment of my boring work.
I pray and thank you for the opportunities that you provide at work, so I can learn and remember your grace and mercy. And remember why I am where I am. Teach me to worship you at work. Help me to make you known at work, at home, and at church.
Create in me a pure heart and renew a right spirit within me.
Father, set me an example in faith, in speech, in love, and in purity.
I am not my own. I don't own my thoughts and my mind and my heart. I don't own anything that is present in me. I am yours. You own me. Father, help me.
Father, yours is your kingdom, your power, your glory.
Forever and ever. Amen.

Church Woes

Highly draining. Emotionally stressful.

Who else can understand? Who else can I share when I have to keep quiet just to maintain the peace and unity of the church and also to protect myself from accused of protesting against a church?

It's hard to flow with the church crowd, esp when the crowd is going to a different direction. I am in a difficult situation because I am a member of the church and I still commit myself for the reformation of the church, even by means of merely praying and be a catalyst of encouragement.

The truth shall set you free? I am free indeed when I am getting to know more about God's Word, but knowing the truth about our church, it is binding and I am feeling the woes.

Does God still love this church? I decide to stay because God still loves this church, but it can get worse if the church keeps on shoving Christ to the sidelines and pay attention only with the "relationship" and goodness deeds in the church. Does God still love this church? If God has taken his love for this church, then it is time for me to leave.

Another thing that I can't leave this church is that I'm still using its benefits. The books, the minds or "wisdom" of the pastors, the church activities which I can enjoy practicing my gratitude to God, the support when there's a need. Like I said, it is binding.

I'm Only Human

Ever heard that excuse to defend one's actions?

They say they're not perfect, they're only human. Knowing that a human commits mistake, they're actually wrong.

What they actually must be saying is that they are evil. They are the sons and daughters of the enemy, Satan, God's rival. They're confessing they belong to Satan's kingdom. Being human actually means being made in the likeness of God. That's what's being human mean.

If someone tells you to stop being human, they're wrong. Being human is not being carnal in the sense. Being human, as a person made in the likeness of God, is to be in the covenant of God, to keep God's covenant and commandments. To be in the Kingdom of God. To be able to feel, touch, love, live, commune with fellow humans.

Now's the question, are you human?

Top 5 Regrets of the Dying

Interesting photo, it made me think: If I were to die today...

I wouldn't be regretting if I were to die today. I have lived a full life already, especially that I have died with Christ already, and my life belongs to him.

Praying for Hardships is a Blessing

I prayed for this (hardships/disappointments):

That I would not be content, that things would not be all right...
For if I was, I would be forgetting my Father and fail to rely on Him.
KAM SIA TZU!! Father, you are good. Thank you for the faith, the strength, the hope, the love, the energy, the alertness, the lessons, your grace, your mercy, your salvation. Thank you for revealing yourself to me and answering my prayers, esp the "old" ones. Lots to thank you, yet I'll always simply say, Thank You!

I thank God for giving me a Mom and Dad (my spiritual parents, my mentors).

I pray that God would provide them an abundance of love, joy, peace, patience, esp patience to me, courage, and faithfulness to you.

I pray to be appreciative, humble, edifyer, encourager, not be critical or judgmental, and know that God is in everything.

Father, help me. I look forward to your promises and to my desires which you have placed in my heart. I do also wish that I can be with my Mom and Dad, be colleagues somehow. However, let me do the things I need to do: to strive and toil to study your Word and do my assignments for the year. Help me do my job faithfully and give me wisdom how to do my work. Give me strength and energy at home. Let me not procrastinate. Let me be free in you. May you be glorified in my life. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Moralism vs. God's Word

How does it feel to now be worshiping differently than you used to, and differently than the people you used to worship with?

I am sorrowed in some way.

Today's passage for today's sermon was Acts 15:1-35. Eager to learn how to study the Bible and prepare myself for Sunday's message, I read and studied the passage earlier. To humble myself and be aware not to be critical and judgmental to the preacher. Sadly, there were things missed by the preacher which could really feed with God's Word to the church attenders. How to handle and resolve conflicts, however, was taught.

I was disappointed, not only because the preacher missed this most crucial part of God's Word, but that what he preached, we could learn that in many self-help books, good-living seminars, implied teaching in school/work (esp as a person would mature), etc.

Disappointed that I had a hard time understanding how to read Acts (ref. Gordon Fee-Douglas Stuart - How to Read the Bible for all its Worth), and this study really challenged me.

I learned that in reading Acts, know what's the point of the passage, how did it function to whole narrative of Acts, why did Luke include this passage, what was the INTENTION this passage was written. I also learned that the primary intention was the reason the passage was written, and the secondary intention was just incidental. Narratives weren't meant to be imperatives nor a "what must we do" narratives. Narratives weren't written for the hearers, but written so the hearers might know how God was working through the patriarchs of the narrative.

The primary intention I learned from Acts was that the gospel spread. In the passage, despite a wrong teaching of the gospel, the council stayed faithful to the true gospel and didn't grumble or retaliate against the wrong teaching. Yet they continued in encouraging the believers how the gospel had reached to the Gentiles.

But the message took focus on the second intention, how the conflict was resolved. I was even more sad that the part where the preacher mentioned to use biblical principles to resolve conflicts was short and, somehow, treating the bible as mere manual to solve people's problems, when in fact, it's God's Word. Sad, that the message wasn't preached as God's Word but as man's word.

Yes, I still learned from the preacher that in conflicts, we mustn't retaliate, grumble, and argue against those people who hold different views from us, but to promote unity, encourage/edify the brothers with God's faithfulness, to focus in the higher cause, and continue proclaiming God's power. Sad that the "bible", "higher/greater cause", "gospel" wasn't talked about so much.

And the conclusion was "How are you handling your conflicts?"

From my study I learned that to prevent these false teaching to happen, which harms the believers of God, was to watch out for these teachings and such people; to read, study, and stay faithful to God's word, to be grounded in sound doctrine; abide in Christ; be accountable to fellow believers; be in company of true believers; etcetera.

What's more? Before response prayer, I was thinking, "What could these friends of mine be thinking now? How are they worshiping that what was taught only on how to resolve conflicts? Repentance? Okay. What else? But I cannot seem to be in the same worship with them." During response prayer, I wanted to cry. I wasn't sure why, but my tears were wet. I tried to listen to the prayer and focus on that, and remember to just focus on what I learned from the incomplete message of the preacher.

During response song (One Voice), I couldn't sing in the same worship with them. I sang with them but my thoughts, "I learned from Acts to be faithful to God and his Word. How about them? What did they learn? To be faithful in themselves?" (My other thoughts in italics.)

Father, we ask of You this day
Come and heal our land (Father, really heal our land, they're missing a lot.)
Knit our hearts together
That Your glory might be seen in us
Then the world will know
That Jesus Christ is Lord (They just missed your Word.)

Let us be one voice that glorifies Your name
Let us be one voice declaring that You reign
Let us be one voice in love and harmony
And we pray, O God, grant us unity (I'm really not united with them in heart, mind, spirit.)

Now is the time for you and I
To join our hearts in praise
That the name of Jesus
Will be lifted high above the earth
Then the world will know
That Jesus Christ is Lord (How can this song be about conflict resolution?)

Father, I really don't know what to pray for, but I pray for this church, break them to pieces that they may know you. I pray that your Word would taken seriously, not just in "bible studies", but in Sunday worship, because worship is all about you and not us. Father, how joyous it would be to see a church zealous for your word.

photo from theresurgence.com

The Bike and Sam

This story may not mean anything, but it is a parallel of my experience with my walk with God. I am in a walk where disappointments come and go, that I have to read and study God's Word first and learn more about God while I really really really want to share this joy and enthusiasm. However, the reality is, I have to wait. I write this story as a form of my expression with my spiritual growth.

One day, Sam was in his room surfing the internet which he frequently did everyday. "What is Sam doing in his room in this beautiful afternoon," wondered his dad. Then Dad sneaked into Sam's room and saw what Sam was doing. Sam had been surfing the net and looking at pictures of bikes, and trying to learn all the bike parts and listening to videos of people talking about bikes.

When Sam was growing up, Sam had owned a lot of books and pictures of bikes. Sam loved reading about bikes. Sam kept asking his friends, teachers, and even strangers, who knew more about bikes, to teach him. However, despite them talking to him about bikes all the time, Sam was still not satisfied. Yet Sam had not given up, he kept looking.

Sam noticed his dad was standing beside him. Dad saw Sam was a bit sad. Sam then asked Dad, "Can you teach me about bikes?"

Dad was surprised Sam asked him this time. Dad finally decided to buy Sam a bike, but their was only one bike available in their city and it had to be assembled. Bikes were rare and a luxury and came with a manual. Bikes were bought un-assembled because only a few people knew how to assemble a bike. Dad, on the other hand, had assembled and owned a bike a long time ago.

Sam, still on the computer, heard two honks. Sam left his room and went to the door. Sam saw what Dad brought. A bike. Sam was very happy and couldn't wait. He took the package from Dad and ran to his room and opened it.

But Sam felt disappointed, he didn't know what to do. Dad came to his side, sat, and pulled out a huge manual from the box. Dad and Sam then read and learned together.

Months passed, Dad and Sam still studied the manual every afternoon, and the bike was almost done. However, news came that Dad had to leave the country for work right away, which then left Sam to learn the manual by himself.

Sam still didn't know what to do, so Sam went back to his computer and books to surf and read about bikes, and asked people who failed to satisfy Sam's questions and confusion about bikes.

Mom came to Sam, who was still distraught, and tried consoling Sam. Mom began helping Sam with his bike, and eventually they finished the bike. Now Sam was very happy, and couldn't wait to always show his new bike to his friends and neighbors.

Sam was about and ready to leave the house with his bike. However, he still didn't know how to use the bike, but he had read all those stuff in his books and the internet and what people had said, and he couldn't wait to show it already. Mom and Dad told Sam that he still had to read the manual and learn more before he went out with his bike.

Time had passed, Sam, still so full of energy and excitement, really really really wanted to show his bike, but Sam knew that if he left, things wouldn't look too good unless he kept learning and preparing himself before he could ride his bike on the streets. Sam just couldn't contain his enthusiasm; he sometimes failed in school and at home, sometimes failed to read the manual, and even tried to ride the bike and fell.

Sam just wanted to ride the bike and share his joy about bikes to people, but he had to wait.

(photo from etsy.com)

Religion Confusion

I watched a video of "Why I Hate Religion, But Love Jesus" (Muslim Version).

In the description, the author wrote,

"A poem I wrote to highlight the difference between Jesus and false religion. This is not an attack upon Christians, so please don't take this as offensive, it's just a means of education and let people know what Jesus was truly sent with. Jesus is a Prophet of Islam, yet a God of Christianity. In Islam God is all Powerful, But in Christianity God was overpowered and crucified on the cross, how can the Almighty God be overpowered, these are just examples for people to think about, we are not forcing you to believe, just ponder and question. The Quran is the final testament, Muhammad is the final Messenger. Islam is the final religion, so no I dont Hate Islam. One God, One God only, He does not beget nor was he begotten, He is the GREATEST. And has no partners. (Holy Quran Ch 112)"

 First thing, I believe in Jesus as the Son of God. I respect the Muslims that they believe God (or Allah) as the only true God. I believe that the Muslims (Islam) have come from the line of Ishmael, the son of Abraham. Yet, I believe in Jesus' virgin birth, his works, death, resurrection, ascension, and promise of coming back; these things are also written in the Qur'an. I may not have read the Qur'an but I have read some parts. And I do not believe that Muhammad is the Last Prophet because Jesus is the last Adam to have gotten the covenant from God.

I am not a Roman Catholic. I do not carry a name of a famous theologian either. I do not believe in religion which are merely full of moralism. Yet, I am a child of God. That is all the title I carry, not Roman Catholic, Protestant, Calvinist, etc. I am a reformer, not a Reformer with the capital R. I do not idolize the Jesus, the author in the video is referring to. I despise the images the Roman Catholics are conveying to be an image of Jesus.

I love God's Word. I respect people who are truly believers of God. I respect my Muslim brothers. I love them a lot, just as I love the people who call themselves Christians but disobeys God by following their own principles about God and His Word. Yet I wish all of them to know God's plan of salvation through Jesus Christ. I still cannot fully express the joy and freedom Jesus (God) has revealed to me. I believe that God (Father), God (Jesus), God (Holy Spirit) is in Creation, which He has created. God is One. This Trinity doctrine is beyond our limited understanding; we all hardly can fathom.

Like the Jews, who rejects Jesus as the Messiah, I want to ask, do Muslims also wait for the Messiah? Why do you wait? For redemption? Whatever your answers are, it's all in Jesus Christ, the Messiah.

I am a Christian, I carry the name of Christ, but I am not the Christian today's world is referring to. I am a child of God, I carry the name of God. And as my gratitude to God's saving grace, I want to become like Christ and still want to learn more and more and more about God whom I worship. And that is found in Christ, in His Word (physically known as the Bible, having the very words of God).

John 1ff

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. In him was life, and the life was the light of men. 

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. The true light, which gives light to everyone, was coming into the world. He was in the world, and the world was made through him, yet the world did not know him. He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him. But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God. 

And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth. For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. No one has ever seen God; the only God, who is at the Father’s side, he has made him known.

My Spiritual Parents

I had a wonderful week last , May 5-12. I attended a conference for Christian leaders and potential leaders. I also learned a lot from my spiritual mom and dad. It was a week long of learning. Now, I'm back home, it's going to be a loooong process to apply the lessons from the conference speakers, friends, and my spiritual parents.

My last day was a memorable day. May 12 was Mother's Day, though I was away from my biological mother, I bought her a greeting card to give when I got back that afternoon.

The morning of May 12, my spiritual mum surprised me. We separated the night before and said our goodbyes. But that morning, I was waiting fro my spiritual dad downstairs for church. Then mum suddenly came from upstairs. I thought, "Where did she come from? Didn't we left her?" Though it was not the surprise my mum expected to happen, she was surprised I was already downstairs while she hid upstairs after arriving to my spiritual dad's house. I was really surprised. (I call my dad, Ahia, and my mum, Mamu.) Ahia said, "See how much she loves you." Mamu came to join us (and surprise me) because she's going to be busy for many weeks and might not be able to spend time with me (texting/calling).

The three of us went to church as my dad led the preaching. Before church, we first had breakfast, Ahia told me, "Have you greeted her Happy Mother's Day? She's your mother, she's your Mamu." Looking at my mum, "Happy Mamu's Day!"

After church, both my spiritual parents sent me to the airport. I hugged both of them goodbye.

I live far from my spiritual parents, I'm encouraged they pray for me and I pray for them; they answer my questions via SMS or email.

I gave both of them a gift with this verse written on it:

We ask you to appreciate those who work hard among you, who lead you in the Lord and teach you. Respect them with a very special love because of the work they do. (1 Thessalonians 5:12-13)

Here is a link about spiritual fathers and mothers:
Roger Barrier: http://www.preachitteachit.org/articles-blogs/ask-roger/post/archive/2012/june/article/how-do-i-become-a-spiritual-father-or-mother/
Spiritual Parents: http://shortdailydevotions.com/devotions/1-corinthians-414-15-spiritual-parents
Grace to You: http://www.gty.org/resources/sermons/1822

Prayer Undeserving

How come, Lord, that I don't seem to have joy?
How come, reading David in Psalms, he seems to have joy in you?
He is confident that you will vindicate him.

I thank you, Lord, that you will vindicate me; however, there is in me that I don't deserve your vindication, but rather I deserve punishment.
Somehow, I accept your punishment more than your vindication.
I'm not good. I don't have the integrity to be vindicated by you.

Lord, teach me.
What is sanctification?

Help me to be confident in you. Empower me. Take my life.
I really want to be with you. Let me know who you are.
Let me have joy.

It is my comfort that to "die is gain", but I still fear to lose you.
I still am not taking comfort, even understanding, that to "live is Christ".

Teach me, Lord.

Holy Days (In Remembrance of God's Promise in Christ)

 

The Rich Man

The Story

Imagine a rich man coming. He would come to you and say, “My child, I want to adopt you. I am giving you authority over my estate. Run the business with me. Travel all over the world. Live in the mansion with me.”

How would you feel? Happy, loved, thankful. Wow.

You would immediately abandon everything behind. Leave your job for you no longer have to work, you now have a lot of money. You can buy anything. You have a Ferrari. You have an airplane. You have so many servants who’d do as you command them. You are now a CEO.

“But in one condition,” the rich man says, “Follow my rules. Respect me as your father. No smoking. No drinking. No gambling. No parties. No women/men lovers. No wasting of money for expensive things you would not need. No selfishness. No greed. No arrogance. No swear words. No hating people. No turning your back on me when I tell you to do something for me. You have to listen to everything I say.”

However….You are already enjoying the rich life. No more worries and fear of poverty and suffering. But you still want to do things the rich man says No. You want to do your own way. You don’t want anyone to be a master of you.

You kill the rich man, your adopted father, who has given you the wealth you do not deserve, so you can do whatever you like with your unearned, freely given wealth.

However, there are witnesses. They report you to authorities. You are taken to prison with a term of 10 years and after 10 years, death penalty by electric chair.

One year later, you find that the rich man is alive. Should you be scared? Maybe he will lengthen your prison term to 30 years and your death penalty to beheading. Or whip you now or butcher you until you die. You should be scared because he is rich and he can do anything what he wants done.

A week after you’ve known he’s alive, he comes to visit you. Oh no. What’s he going to do?

The rich man says to you, “I am an honest and faithful man. I can pay what I want done to you….I can release you from prison now, but I follow the law. I have let my own biological son be put in prison for your sake. My son, whom I love so much, is willing to be in prison so you, my adopted child, can come back home with me. It hurts me to see you rot in prison for you are my own, you are my child. I am your father. I love you. Come back home with me.”

God the Father is like that. We disobey Him. We break His heart. We murder Him with our sinfulness. But He let His own Son, Jesus Christ, to take our punishment, to take our curse, so we can go back with God in Paradise.

Back to the story: You’re now back at the mansion. What are you going to do? You don’t to deserve to be back there. You don’t deserve to be released from prison. Moreover, you don’t deserve for someone, the rich man’s biological son, to take your place in prison. You’re going to obey the rules, follow the law. Do what the rich man tells you to do. You’re going to love him back, because he loves you. You’re going to want to get to know him more. And of all people, he chooses you.


Prayer

Jesus, the Christ, the Messiah, Lord and Savior

Thank you for being our chief Prophet and great Teacher, for showing us the Father, for giving us your Word, for giving us the Bible to know you more and more.

Thank you for being our only great High Priest, for laying you own life, dying on the cross, a curse for criminals. You were neither a criminal nor a sinner like us, but you took our death, our punishment so you can bring your people back to you. Because you are perfect and sinless, you are God; you broke the curse of death by coming back to life and going back to heaven to intercede for those who call on you as their Lord and Savior.


Thank you for being our Lord and great King. You are not just an ordinary ruler of a country or the earth. You are a ruler of all things. You govern and you are in charge of our lives. You exercise all authority over all things in heaven and on earth. You are faithful. You will establish and guard your people to the evil one. You control everything in the world around us and through the power of Holy Spirit dwelling within your people.


God, forgive us. We are not our own. We are yours. Mold us to be like you.

Bless us, dear God, our jobs, this company, our leaders, our families, our friends, our churches, our country. Bless us and may we glorify you, praise you, and proclaim you.

Yours is your kingdom, your power, your glory.

In your name, Amen.

Luke 12:32

• Fear not, little flock [children], for it is your Father [in heaven, for it is his] good pleasure to give you the kingdom.