After my mourning (slash) worry struggle for the chaos around the world (not just South Philippines), I circulated a letter with permission from a friend in the war zone. She was asking for help and support in cash or kind to provide relief for fellow evacuees. A parachurch foundation read the letter and was willing to provide for them.
The next day, my friend begged for help on how to transport the goods from Manila to Zamboanga via Cagayan de Oro. It was hard trying to find a way on how to transfer the goods. I called my parents for their military connection but they said the military had their hands full already. Then they said, also an officemate said, that we contact a TV network's foundation for help and advice.
Two days later, that's today (3rd day) as I am writing this, I'm still waiting to have a talk with the TV network's foundation. I have other ways in mind, but I have to wait for this meeting. If this meeting wouldn't be successful, then I can go out and ask for help from mission orgs and my church for help to transport the goods via land. Land transfer (8-12hrs travel from CDO to Zambo) is hard especially that rebels can block the truck and loot the goods. We hope to have the transfer by air.
Leaving details aside, how am I? Scared and overwhelmed. This responsibility is also my first time. The only ability I can do is imagine ways, find ideas, and connect with key contacts. I felt feverish and overwhelmed the first day I took this responsibility; I felt hot and getting a headache. Maybe I was just super-excited. Yester-night, I was feeling the fear that this might not happen. This morning, right when I woke up, I felt I might get embarrassed if this wouldn't happen. Even that whenever I hear anything that booms, I get traumatized suddenly though I'm not in the war field.
I also faced a temptation of pride, but I will to humble myself for I am just a servant of God. Both in high or low times, true Christians will be faced any kind of temptation.
I keep praying to trust in God and rely on Him for He is bigger than this event. I keep reminding myself the God is in control, my King is in control, He knows what is happening. I also rebuke myself that anxiety dishonors God. I will just continue to thank God, trust and rely on Him, things happen in his control. Him only is constant than the events we face in life. I even ask help for God to guard my thoughts and my heart from entertaining sin. God forgive me.
I take this responsibility because I want to help and to bring glory to God. It is my pleasure and gratitude that I am a child of God and a fellow servant to King Jesus.
My Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it in heaven. Give us this day, relief and providence for this responsibility for our Zambo fellowmen and siblings in Christ. Forgive me for dishonoring you with my fear and anxiety. Lead me not into temptation of pride and anxiety and self-centeredness, protect me from the evil one, guard my mind and heart. For yours alone is your kingdom, you power and your glory. May your work be displayed in this present time. In Jesus' name I pray, AMEN.
