Leap Year Baby

I found this on the internet:

I'm a Leap Year Baby. Joining this group on February 28, 2013 (that's today in Eastern Asia). I celebrate my birthday on both days of Feb 28 and March 1. I have just thought: Maybe I could celebrate it on 12:00 of Feb 28 and 11:59 of Mar 1. LOL I later understood about my birthday skipping every year in school when I learned how to read a calendar. In my late primary school to early college, I told my parents to never greet me or gift me presents on years when there was no Feb 29. I think I was getting depressed with a leaping birthday. But, ironically, I would get sad when friends didn't greet me a happy birthday. It felt like I never existed at all. Every year and the same people keep asking when I would celebrate my birthday (until now). And every time February 29 appears, family would give me a MEGA birthday celebration. But on my 4th (16th), I dared them not to give me a party. On my 5th (20th), they still gave me a party 10days later (bcos 29th was a school day), a "debut". But on the 29th, there was a concert and I was able to take a picture with the singer because it was my birthday. But last year 2013, 6th (24th), it was my bestest birthday ever. I didn't have a party, but my sweetest friends surprised me with a birthday cake. They were the sweetest. At dinner, my family only went for pizza. February 29, 2013 hasn't ended yet. Only so few people have greeted me so far. I am not telling people nor posting birthday stuff on Facebook. I prefer people who greets to be real friends because true special friends remember birthdays. Sadly, even some special friends forget my birthday when I remember theirs and always greet them. I am glad to be a leap year. Though I'm 25 now. I'm still 6.25. Though I'm physically aging, I'm still emotionally young. (Physically developed but emotionally underdeveloped...it's a fact. I still need people to watch over me.) I'm a self-diagnosed Aspie, doctor-diagnosed PDs. Like my birthday, I'm mostly on the borderline of many things including my intelligence and creativity. Oh well. One thing to be proud for: I'm young, sweet, energetic, and have an innocent smile.

Jesus Christ

[He will] cause the fall & rise of many... He will be a sign from God that many will not accept so that the thoughts of many will be made known. And the things that will happen will make your heart sad, too. Luke 2:34-35

Laura Story (Blessings)

We pray for blessings, we pray for peace

Comfort for family, protection while we sleep

We pray for healing, for prosperity

We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering

And all the while, You hear each spoken need

Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops

What if Your healing comes through tears

What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near

What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear

We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near

We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love

As if every promise from Your word is not enough

And all the while, You hear each desperate plea

And long that we'd have faith to believe

'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops

What if Your healing comes through tears

What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near

What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us

When darkness seems to win

We know that pain reminds this heart

That this is not,

This is not our home

It's not our home

'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops

What if Your healing comes through tears

What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near

What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life

Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy

What if trials of this life

The rain, the storms, the hardest nights

Are your mercies in disguise

Work Blues (UPDATE)

UPDATE:

I made some changes from the previous post re: Work Blues.

(Feb 11, 2013)

I was emotionally embattled at work and was asked this question, "Are you doing it gladly and with thanksgiving that the Lord has given you this job? If the answer is yes, you are glorifying God. If no, you are not glorifying God."

Because I couldn't answer yes, and guilty of my gloomy state, I was sorry and thought to paste this where I could see it.

Website Update (Feb 13, 2013)

When I started this blog, I first had the name as a Spiritual Backpacker because that time, I went out to rest from my home church after my painful experiences there and after my mentor/s left. I went out visiting various churches to know what they teach, but I didn't think of leaving my home church.

I changed it into a Lone Ranger Christian because I really felt so alone in the reformed faith that was inherited to me by my mentor/spiritual dad.

However, as I was travelling to spiritual growth, I realized I was no longer a lone ranger. There were people praying for me. Though they're not physically present with me, their spirit was with me for we're under one Spirit, God's Holy Spirit; one Christ our Savior; one Grace; one Faith; and one Father.

So I wonder what I am going to name this website.

Should I change it back to Spiritual Backpacker? Or just The Backpacker or The Traveler?

This world is not my home. Nowhere is permanent but in the Home of my Father. The weight I have in my backpack is the weight I carry until I am Home.

This website is transparent and can easily be known where I live and where I've been and what I've done good and wrong (and the conflicts and critics I have). Some posts can be filled with anger and despair and embarrassment, but for the next proceeding posts, I hope to share the faith God has enabled me. If ever readers who personally know me would find out despite this website's anonymity, don't condemn me because of my past. It's past already. I am ashamed of my past, but there's a reason I put this in writing and be transparent and be honest with myself. I am still growing and learning. God knows me more than anyone who knows me. If my past pulls me down, how can I be strong to push myself up and not turn back? God continues to sustain me and give me strength. God continues to mold me to be more and more like Christ until His return.

I do hope this will be my last website update.

John Piper & J. Campbell White (When the Darkness Will Not Lift)

John Piper: Is the cause you live for large enough for your Christ-exalting heart?

J. Campbell White: Most men are not satisfied with the permanent output of their lives. Nothing can wholly satisfy the life of Christ within his followers except the adoption of Christ's purpose toward the world he came to redeem. Fame, pleasure and riches are but husks and ashes in contrast with the boundless and abiding joy of working with God for the fulfillment of his eternal plans. The men who are putting everything into Christ's undertaking are getting out of life its sweetest and most priceless rewards.

John Piper: In the midst of darkness, saints may have no strength to pursue such global dreams. But it may be, int he mercy of God, that as we wait for the light to go up, we can do poorly what we would love to do well. Perhaps we can read a short article about the church in China. Or listen to a tape about a missionary who suffered much for the gospel. Or write a note to a missionary family with a few lines about how we are hanging onto grace, and include a brief prayer for them.

Joshua 23-24 (Encouragement and Remembrance)

As Joshua told the Israelites encouragement and reminders before he left, Joshua reminded them of what God had done to them since God chose Abraham and his offspring to be God's followers.

I thank God for all the years he has preserved me and sustained me, and little by little molding me even if it hurts. Thank you God for giving me people as I enter stages of life. Now, thank you Father for giving me a spiritual mom and dad. Truly they are my spiritual parents compared to my spirituals moms-of-old. Nonetheless, thank you Father for giving me spiritual parents who, though, aren't with me in the flesh, are with me in your Holy Spirit, being part of Your family, praying for me and desiring for my growth.

Father, enable me to be always reminded of you, your grace, and your blessings. Father, help me with my mind, my battlefield. Give me wisdom. Enable me to think of things are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy. Father, enable me look at things beyond myself, to see what is according to your heart. To do what pleasures you and glorifies you. May your Holy Spirit guide me.

Father, don't give up on me. Give me strength and patience to live out this day. Father, may I learn to pray like David. Father, enable me to imitate my spiritual mom and dad and inherit their faith and patience. Give me strength as you mold me to be like Christ. Thank you, Father, for also being with me though I am lonely and cannot feel you. Thank you for the love my spiritual mom and dad are giving me. Thank you for your love and for molding me. Father, thank you for enabling me to know you and be your offspring.

In Jesus' name. Amen.

How long must I wait, Lord?

How long, Lord, how long?
How long do I have to wait?
How long do I have to sit in this darkness
Until you vindicate me into Your Light?

I find myself in this pit of tyranny
The tyranny of time and this cursed world
The tyranny of misunderstanding
The tyranny of an expanse of my mind

All the more wretched I am
As I see my own tyranny in people
Their silent oppression has blinded them
Yet I am hopeless, helpless, and lost in my own mire

How long, Lord, how long?
How long must I stay in darkness
Until You let Your Light shine
Until hope comes real to my eyes?

Yet I thank You, Father
Though I am alone in the flesh
I am not alone in the spirit
I am not lost in Your Presence

Forgive me, deliver me
Enable me strength and patience
Impart me Your wisdom, Your heart
To do what I must as I wait

For Yours is your glory.
Forever. Amen.

Working for Empty Gain?

I really, really, really wonder....other than I still don't understand everything that's going on around me.

People work so hard. They drudge so hard just to make a living and survive themselves. All these things I see are either routine or really "empty" gain.

Wake up. Eat breakfast. Prepare for work. Go to work. Do work. Eat lunch. Rest awhile. Then go back to work. Go home. Make dinner. Rest or leisure with whatever comes to mind (TV, go outside, internet). Sleep. Then the cycle starts again everyday until days off where people can do anything they want or need to do. Then every week, the same cycle again.

Why do people work to earn a living? To survive themselves and, if salary suits them well, to enjoy themselves or enjoy life.

Some, if not most, people enjoy their work because they find their belonging and fulfillment in their jobs.

What's next? I don't know.

----

Work to glorify God......

File papers to glorify God.
Make reports, powerpoints, and  graphs to glorify God.
Answering phone calls to glorify God.
Selling products to glorify God.
Compete with other companies for business to thrive to glorify God.

?

I don't get it. =(

Why are you lonely and still endure?

Seven years ago, I was asked this question, "How come you can be alone and not have a hard time?" My answer was, "because I got used to it."

If I am asked that question again, "How come you can endure or rather able to be alone most of the time? Be mistreated? Be abused? Be left behind and shunned?" My answer would be:

"I don't. I'm never able...but my God is able."
"If He's a good God, how come you still suffer and still lonely?"
"So God's grace will be sufficient in me. So He will be more glorified."
"Why is your God such a selfish God and does only what benefits Him and not you or other Christians?"
"God is not selfish. He's just in higher authority and He is holy. God doesn't want His children to suffer. However, because we are still here in this world of griefs and evil, and our human nature is still evil, we just have to wait for God to take us home until the day He has changed us into the perfect beings intended to us for He has made us into His Likeness before evil came into the world when God's first children disobeyed him and listened to the devil more than remembering God's warning not to disobey."

February, The Love Month (Challenge)

It's the love month. Ya, Valentine's Day has roots with paganism, and the mating season of love birds. Traditionally, people would be celebrating with their romance.
But know here, remember where love first come from.

In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. (1 John 4:10)

Let's change the usual traditions of daydreaming, dating, courtship, flowers, chocolates, movies, etc. and come to remembrance (and repentance), bringing glory to the One who is Love.
Let's proclaim this Love Month with the Love of God. Share that love. Make it an evangelism. It's a challenge to me and to you who read this.

What if Jesus would ask us this month, "Do you love me more than these?" (John 21:15+) What would our answers be?