Merry Christmas vs. Happy Happy Gifting Season

At this time of year, majority of the people of  the world knows that "Christmas" is when we put up Christmas decorations, make Christmas shopping lists (what's for Junior, for Susie, for godchildren, for Mom, for Dad, for siblings, for hubby-bunny, for beauty wifey... endless lists..), Christmas salary bonuses, that Nativity figurines, Christmas carols and chorale, Santa Claus and reindeers and elves, Christmas movies, Christmas whatevers-just-add-Christmas-as-an-adjective.... It's the happy happy season of the year.

And then there's a few people you might have met who would say, "I hate Christmas." And then we think of

them as heartless or whatever we'd like to call them, The Grinch, The Scrooge. And we just leave them be in their mediocre lonely life, just because they don't know Christmas or hate Christmas, as we continue to celebrate this happy happy season.

Something's wrong. Though we say that Christmas is all about Jesus Christ's coming, "Joy to the World", but we're busy with all those mentioned above. We don't want a grumpy sulky person to ruin our season, right?

Jesus said to love one another, even the unloveables. Jesus said to welcome a person with the gospel, and bear each other's burdens. Jesus said that we reach others; in His authority, we go, make disciples, teach, and baptize. Jesus said to worship and praise Him, to look up to Him. Jesus said that we must look highly of others' interest than of our own.

We are blessed with all those Christmas stuffs and bonuses. Blessed to have your family reunion complete. Blessed for the company of good friends. Blessed receiving so many gifts.

Every Christmas, there are people who dread Christmas. And this is the right time to be reaching out to these lonely and sad (masked by grumpiness) people. Know why these people are so heartless for Christmas. Jesus said the to rich man to "sell everything you have." This Christmas, can you try celebrating Christmas differently? No Christmas adjectives, but let us look to the needs of others and share our blessings. Share the grace freely given to us. Aren't we selfish enough to be enjoying these graces and blessings and forget the unhappy in a happy happy season?

If you are one of those Grinch and Scrooge, I am also talking to you. This season is one of my painful seasons. But I choose not to sulk myself and push people away because I can't relate and understand their cheery celebrations. This Christmas is all about Jesus Christ, the King of kings and Lord of Lords, the Savior who died on the cross to redeem His people and bring them to His family, and also reach out to others for our King.

I owe this grace to the people who are lonely this Christmas. It is my challenge and prayer and hope that this Christmas, my parents will allow me to stay away from the house, hope to find someone random or from the streets and invite them for a meal. It is my joy to share to them my Father and King.

Please pray for me, I'll pray that many will be able to read this and hope to do the same, but not as the same as how I'm going to do it. Just use your imagination. Don't wait for someone to come to you because you hate Christmas. Be the one to find someone. Let's do it together in spirit. This is a blessing (and challenge) that you have read my blog. Thank you for reading. May this Christmas truly be merry. God bless you.

Living an Interesting Life (Sunday, Aug 26 2012)

I chose that title because though my life can be unattractive but in Christ, having the persecutions and ups & downs are part of life. Especially when having the joy and peace to worship and know God more despite the troubles, so that's an interesting life to grow and be molded to be a child of God. I also got the title from my mentor's description about my struggles during his counsel before.

Last week's Friday, I didn't join the IO service. Neither did I join last Sunday service nor other churches but I attended my home church. For the rest of my Sunday, I went out with an visiting friend-acquaintance and home church "friends" (some of whom who would push me to the corner and forget about me...yet despite that I just want) to have some fun and be away from the city for one day and one night. Alas! I had fun and evidenced by a worn out body.

Last Saturday was a wedding from a couple in our church. They were my close friends.

In that wedding, I had also met my mentor who moved to another city. I was so happy to see him, I hugged him. On that day, a pastor also spoke to me, quoting a radio podcast she heard from Grace To You. She shared to me that to be a part of a team, I must have or must be:

T - Trust or Trustworthy
E - Excellence
A - Acceptance and Adjustment
M - Mentoring

In a team, there has to be trust, striving for excellence, acceptance and adjustment, and mentoring from equipped individuals from the team.

She said that the reason I wasn't allowed to help out in the youth was because I was not trusted.

I know there are people who look down at me. Some of those people are in the youth core. However, though there are people looking down at me, I have to keep in mind there are a few who still believe in me, and they are leaders, too. They may not be as influential as those who look down at me, but they are still God's.

1 Timothy 4:12 

"Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity."

She also said to me that what I had been doing, the running away, was my way of serving and worshiping God, not God's Way. Though my intentions were good: so I could be open-minded towards other churches and Christians, so I could learn from them, so I could widen my vision of God's Kingdom; I was still not worshiping and serving God, His Way. She could be right, but I just wondered, "I am still not free. How can I grow by myself?"

To also add to the letter E of team, Exemplary. To be worthy to be a good example towards others. I got that from my mentor's preaching, as the guest pastor, last Sunday, Living by Example (preaching from the book of 1 Peter).

I had a chat with my mentor last Sunday. It was short. We only went through some chapters of Romans, where we left before he left. Yet, we're not finished with Romans. I tried sharing to my spiritual father about my last week's Sunday, but he didn't seem to be interested or maybe his time was short. I was trying to share my heartaches. I began to wonder, "What does Dad want to hear from me? Could I be no longer be who I was after he left because he said I was reflecting my ex-mentor's attitude? Maybe I am becoming negative. What can I do to change to be the person pleasing to Dad?"

I also share my heartaches and fun times to my new spiritual mother (she's also not from my city). There were also times she might not be reading my messages. I really wondered, "How can I share where I can have some interaction? I want to know, am I growing in a thorny soil (Parable of the Sower, Luke 8:4-8)? It is hard to have mentors who are far away."

Then... Though I want to please my spiritual parents, I still have to grow up, grow out, and have my own spiritual children someday as well. God is our ultimate Father of us all. My spiritual parents work will be effective when I have grown up and they become spiritual grandparents, and that God is my only source of joy and comfort regardless of my spiritual parents' limited provision of joy and comfort.

I miss my spiritual parents. I miss their hugs and back rubs, too. I miss hugging them back as well.

It's Tuesday. I am re-thinking of my goals and decisions and commitments. At home, I am not free, I have to abide to my parents even if it means a short time to reflect, read books, and a desire to spend many times with God my Father. In the office, I am also not free, I may not be able to read books even in idle times. In church, I am not free, I have no mentors yet, can't get myself to be discipled, trained, and equipped. HOW CAN I HAVE MORE TIME TO SPEND WITH MY FATHER GOD? I WANT TO READ BOOKS BUT HOW, CONSIDERING THE IMPRISONED LIFE I AM LIVING? If I go back to my home church and back to the old routine, I may be juggling a lot of tasks and I may get burned out again, and grouchier, too.

Psalm 46:10 

Be still and know that I am God.
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth! 

John 14:1,27 

[Jesus said] Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe [Trust] in God; believe [trust] also in me.
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.

Living by Example (1 Peter 2:11-12; 3:1-2)

1. Context: The appeal to Christians of this world
 - We are citizens living as aliens in this world.
 - Citizens of Heaven: We must abstain from evil desires of this world.
 - Evil desires:
    - James 1:15 - Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is full grown brings forth death.
    - Temporary Physical Satisfaction

Principle: By our conduct and good deeds, we show unbelievers the way to God.

2. Conduct: Why conduct?
 - God wants Christians to be living testimonies of His love and mercy toward non-believers because through our lives, He calls others to Himself (Indirect Evangelism or Relationship Evangelism)

Principle 1: Our conduct and confession of faith should not serve as a stumbling block for non-believers.

 - Living Godly Lives: praiseworthy, noble, morally good in the sight of men
 - Christians are living glass houses.

Principle 2: We must walk our talk.

 - Though accused of wrong doing, Christians should strive for such exemplary conduct that slanderous accusations of unbelievers remain godless (1 Peter 3:16 - Having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame.)

Principle 3: Christians will "silence the ignorant talk of foolish men." (1 Peter 2:15 - For this is the will of God, that by doing good you should silence the ignorance of foolish people.)

3. Counsel: Application from Peter
 - In principle, How can a Christian evangelize to non-believers?

1st, Admonition to Submission:
 - We must carry our own cross and follow Jesus.
2nd, Action:
 - We must exemplify what we learn from our faith. (James 2:18 - But someone will say, "You have faith and I have works." Show me your faith apart from your works and I will show you my faith by my works.)
3rd, Attention:
 - We must be "witnesses without works" to our loved ones.
 - We are not the gospel, but we only point people to the gospel.

Sunday, Aug 19 2012 (Travel)

It's Tuesday. I'm still not in the mood to write about my Sunday-backpacking day and last Friday.

Last Saturday, I didn't go out early because I slept at 2AM. My mother woke up and found out that I planned to leave later. She then took my supposedly-resting-sleeping time to be her make-breakfast-help-out time. Why do they have to use my time as their own? Annoyed, I went back to my covers and uttered, "Let me have a job, God!! You're annoying, God!! Darn it!!"

I got up a little bit later. My brother prepared the breakfast. I only prepared the breakfast table and fed the dogs. Took a bath, prepared to leave.

"If I stay home, they will use my time as their own. So, it's better to leave and use my time other else. Sunday is supposed to my time of rest."

Went to a Reformed Church but found out, I was given an un-updated location. So I went to an Assembly of God church. It was a big church. They had Sunday School for all ages before the worship service started. Then I went to Christ's Commission Church, 2nd time to be there.

These two churches I went, they're message was like an hour long. It was making me drowsy. The first church, it was hard to understand what he was talking about. Hard to contemplate because I still had to understand the vernacular, his tone of voice and expression, his shifting from vernacular to English, and the message at the same time. Second church, the speaker was talking about eschatology in the perspective of the Middle East's prophecy upon their land or region. Their were points from the speaker which made me wonder his reliability. Reliability of today's economy. Could he have got his sources from rumors or from accurately reliable sources?

For my lunch, I went to a new restaurant in town. I was enjoying my Korean lunch alone.

After lunch, though still early, I went to Inside Out (IO) already, supposedly to start my devotion and study. However, I ended up surfing the internet.

During the IO service, the message was from Matthew 14:22-34 (The Storm, Jesus, and Peter). The speaker was a mentee, a new college graduate, a youth. Wow!

Last Friday IO's service, the message was from Ephesians 2:1-9 (Is Living in Sin Really Living?). The speaker was a college student, too. However, she said a mistake, "Paul hates God." Paul did not hate God. He was a scholar, a teacher of the law, a priest. He did hate Christians. That was where the young speaker made a mistake.

I pray, my home church, would someday have many young leaders that we don't have to be too dependent on our pastors and elder leaders, the Ahias and Achies.

I have nothing to say about those two messages, but I recorded the messages, embedded above. Like I said, I have not been in the mood. No mood, no words, less expression.

Max Lucado (Grip of Grace)

Max Lucado:

Where the Grace of God is missed, bitterness is born.
But where the Grace of God is embraced, forgiveness flourishes.
The longer we walk in the garden, the more likely we are to smell the flowers.
The more we immerse ourselves in grace, the more likely we are to give grace. ~ Grip of Grace

Five Years from Now?

I had a heart to heart chat with my new spiritual mother yester-night. We talked over the phone because we were separated by distance, she's from another city in another island of our country.

She gave me an assignment. Told me not to post online. I thought, "I think it's okay to place this on my blog. People I know don't know about this anyway. I want to post this on my blog because it's easy to store and find, and what if there is one who is facing the same struggles I am facing."

What do I want to be doing 5 years from now? (That's always a hard question. When a job interviewer asks me that question, I would make just think of things that sound good, but I have no idea what I am talking about.)

What do I want right now?
- I want to start working.

What work? Why?
- I want to work in the corporate. I want to climb the corporate ladder. I want to have a company car or my own car. I want to have my own house or apartment. Moreover, I want to be independent. I want to also travel around the world and take pictures.

What God-given gifts do I have?
- Music, Photography/Filmmaking, Teaching, Knowledge, Helping, Computers
- Of these, I can say 'teaching' really is from God because I never think myself to be able to teach.

What do I want to teach?
- Uhm????
- Anything that I have knowledge of: medicines & photography.

Then here was what Mamu said: I am talented. God gave me these gifts. Because God gave me these gifts, I should return back the glory to God. The purpose of using my talents is for God's glory. Therefore, maximizing my talents is to give God full glory. (Parable of The Talents: Matthew 25:14-30; Luke 19:12-27; or click and read the comic on the right.)

I have not been maximizing my talents, so I am not giving God glory. And because I am capable with a lot of things, I am confused of what I really want to do.

Mamu also said, "Your worth is not in what you want to do but what Jesus has already done."

So, what do I want to be for the next 5 years?
- I don't know. =(
- If I think educationally, intellectually, or skillfully, I would want to have developed work ethics, better social skills, improved communication skills, equipped to become a leader, and able to have taught to many.

So, what work would it be?

Talk about teaching.
Orchestra - I can teach music. Maybe. Direct people how to play a guitar, for sure.
Filmmaker - I can teach photography and how to use the equipment. Direct the actors, direct my co-producers.
Bible Person - I can teach about God and Bible. Direct people to Jesus and the Father as the Holy Spirit guides me.
Traveler - I can teach cultures. With my film/photography, I can direct people to a culture and people, and through my film/photography, I may be able to move the hearts of people for the nations and God's Creation.
Corporate - I can teach about a product. Direct and lead people through plans on how to make business strive.

Based from what I have written and the choices above, three things are intertwined.
Filmmaker with Traveler.
Traveler with Bible Person.

If corporate, I may start applying for the position of medical representative than technology or other perishables because, in medical missions, I am amazed with myself teaching and instructing people about the drugs. I may be able to use this ability someday with Travelling and Missionary (Bible Person) work.

Orchestra.. Where is it? I don't know. Maybe this will just be my extra hobby, but I may not be able to be in the orchestra. JULLIARD!!! How I wish.

Under the Fig Tree (Journal)

Today's message is about Nathanael, Philip, and Jesus. (John 1:43-51)

The speaker started with Nathanael. Nathanael is a cynic or a skeptic who would ask questions critically.

Philip was a new convert (v.43). when he saw Nathanael, probably his friend, the on-fire Philip, full of joy, shared to Nathanael what he was overjoyed of. Philip shared to Nathanael about Jesus. However, like every new convert, or rather anyone, having the lack of discipling, training, or knowledge of the Bible, Philip said something wrong. Philip said "Jesus from Nazareth, when Jesus came from Bethlehem." (v.45)

Then Nathanael critically asked the question, "Can anything good come from Nazareth?" (v.46a)

Yet, Philip did not argue with Nathanael nor was he discouraged. Philip, rather, invited Nathanael to "Come and see." (v.46b)

We, Christians, can make mistakes when we profess/share/testify our faith to other people. And people can be so critical with us. I, too, am a skeptic, yet a skeptic who is open for truth. We do not know if one person is hungry to know Truth. Therefore, let us do what Philip has done, invite others to "Come and see" either church, bible study, or a studying together the Bible, somewhat discipling someone though they may not yet have accepted Christ. But through true Bible Study, one can know Christ and God's grace, and the person may come to faith.

Back to the Scriptures.

Nathanael had not yet seen Jesus, but Jesus greeted him like they had known each other. (v.47)

Surprised, Nathanael asked, "How do you know me?"

Jesus replied, "I saw you under the fig tree, before Philip told you about me."

Then, Nathanael proclaimed Jesus as, "Rabbi, you are the Son of God..the King of Israel." (v.49)

And here is Jesus calling for Nathanael, "You will see greater thing than [knowing I saw you under the fig tree]. I tell you the truth, you will see heaven open and angels of God going up and coming down on the Son of Man."

Jesus and the Samaritan woman. Jesus knew the woman had many husbands and a live-in partner before the woman dared to share to Jesus her life. Jesus was able to form a connection with the woman and Nathanael for Jesus understood them. Jesus was able to build trust and relationship with them even though, they were crippling inside.

When it comes to relationships, when I heard Jesus came to understand and form a connection with the Samaritan woman and Nathanael, I have experienced something similar. I am able to form some immediate trust when the person understands me and say things which really describes me, which I am not able to describe myself. A person who is able to read my thoughts before I even say it. Actually, that person was my ex-mentor. My ex-mentor may not be a perfect person, yet I am remembered today of what good she had done to me during our early years. She had true compassion for me, even gave me special attention and most of her time to me. But in the later years, she lost that compassion and not anymore understanding. And then, I lost my trust on her.

Anyway, back to Jesus.

Now, what is the fig tree? What is Jesus saying to Nathanael, he saw him under fig tree?

The speaker said, the fig tree could mean our secret places or our inner selves. Under the fig tree could mean, what we do or who we truly are.

The speaker then illustrated that we usually and easily let people come into our lives because of fear that people may come to know us, and when they know more about us, they may leave us, and we get hurt again. He also illustrated, we choose who we invite into our houses or rooms. What if the speaker let us come into his room. As a supposed reliable trusted speaker, he has a messy room. How then can we trust him?

Human, as we are, we some times, if not many times, do not walk our talk. Yet Jesus, no matter how crooked we are, still allows us to come to know him.

When I heard the part where the speaker illustrated about his room and as a speaker/leader, suddenly, BIG tears fell from my eyes.

I am afraid to let people know me. I am afraid that when people know me more, they may leave me, and hurt me bad. I am afraid to stumble people with the bad example, bad influence, or bad life that I live. I am afraid people may get angry at me or hate me. I am afraid to let people know what a mess I am. I am not worthy to be called into God's ministry. Yet, I am convicted and reminded of God's grace with just that simple story, it doesn't matter how much of a failure I am. Doesn't matter how many times my family or a pastor would judge me bad or what a mess my room is or that I am selfish or a perfectionist. As long as I show or tell people about Jesus, I am nothing. Somehow, that messy person I am is not who I truly am. I am God's own. No matter if I am not worthy, Jesus still accepts me.

Though my outer shell is a pretend me, trying to behave like "everyone" else and my inner shell is a messed up person, my innermost part should be where Jesus is, should be who I truly am, identified to be with Jesus.

At times, I do lose focus, even after today's message. My mind is telling me, "That is not reality. Reality is this, when you leave "God's place". Reality is where the world really is. You must be just dreaming. All filled up with emotions. Those things won't last. Being called by God is just a delusion which you're making up inside your head. You're not really called. This is your life. A life where, at home, you don't own your time. In church, you'd be neglected. You're reality also is that you have no job. Being in a seminary or a worker of God is not a real job. That's only a vocation, not a profession. How can you live? How can you earn BIG and buy all the stuff you like? How can you have a comfortable life? That is not the reality. Your reality is that you're a mess. You're just a loner. You'll forever be a loner. Your friends aren't really friends. You are just friends because you have the same emotions concerning God and His grace. That is not reality."

My mind is my greatest battle.

Finding Joy (Nehemiah 8:1-10)

This is what I have learned yesterday.
I guess, there is no need for an explanation. The Word of God is enough explaining.

FINDING JOY

1 ..all the people came together as one in the square before the Water Gate. They told Ezra the teacher of the Law to bring out the Book of the Law of Moses, which the Lord had commanded for Israel.

2 So on the first day of the seventh month Ezra the priest brought the Law before the assembly, which was made up of men and women and all who were able to understand. 3 He read it aloud from daybreak till noon as he faced the square before the Water Gate in the presence of the men, women and others who could understand. And all the people listened attentively to the Book of the Law.

4 Ezra the teacher of the Law stood on a high wooden platform built for the occasion. Beside him on his right stood Mattithiah, Shema, Anaiah, Uriah, Hilkiah and Maaseiah; and on his left were Pedaiah, Mishael, Malkijah, Hashum, Hashbaddanah, Zechariah and Meshullam.

5 Ezra opened the book. All the people could see him because he was standing above them; and as he opened it, the people all stood up. 6 Ezra praised the Lord, the great God; and all the people lifted their hands and responded, “Amen! Amen!” Then they bowed down and worshiped the Lord with their faces to the ground.

7 The Levites —Jeshua, Bani, Sherebiah, Jamin, Akkub, Shabbethai, Hodiah, Maaseiah [mentioned above], Kelita, Azariah, Jozabad, Hanan and Pelaiah—instructed the people in the Law while the people were standing there. 8 They read from the Book of the Law of God, making it clear, [Or with interpretation, or paragraph by paragraph] and giving the meaning so that the people understood what was being read.

9 Then Nehemiah the governor, Ezra the priest and teacher of the Law, and the Levites who were instructing the people said to them all, “This day is holy to the Lord your God. Do not mourn or weep.” For all the people had been weeping as they listened to the words of the Law.

10 Nehemiah said, “Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”
NEHEMIAH 8:1-10 (NIV)
--
But the truly happy people are those who carefully study God's perfect law that makes people free, and they continue to study it. They do not forget what they heard, but they obey what God's teaching says. Those who do this will be made happy.
JAMES 1:25 (NCV)
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For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of [or living in] righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.
ROMANS 14:17 (ESV/NIV)