I started having chest discomforts since 4th grade. But few days ago, we only played a party game of popping balloons. My heart rate shot up to 128 beats per minute. The pain location was where one could feel their heart beat. (My normal rested rate is 67 beats per minute.)
Just posting my expenses (most of my expenses this year are medical expenses):
Doctor's consultation fee: 400
2nd consultation fee: 400
ECG: 300
2D Echocardiogram: 2750
Blood Test: 2328
TOTAL: 6178
My current salary: 4180
Savings from salary: 1180
Planned expense til next salary: 3000
Savings withdrawn: 3520 + 1000 = 4520
Sad. But not worried. There's an inkling not to continue w/ this diagnosis, but better to know what's wrong with me now, before it's too late. I'm not worried for my health nor my wealth. I'm not seeing the doctor to give me peace of mind. With all these blessings laid out for me, even if it means taking away my savings, do I not have to thank God for these blessings: still able to pay for the expenses, good doctors, availability of tests, still able-bodied to visit the clinics/hospitals. I trust in my Father. He has given all these blessings for us to enjoy/use.
Can we not thank Him for these? He gave us a job. He gave us the ability to work. He gave us our salary for us to spend on our wants and needs, and share with others who don't have.
I thank God for all these.
Before my diagnosis, I pray the tests are enough for a diagnosis, so no more tests and expenses. I also pray that the diagnosis is well. But if the tests turn out not enough or the diagnosis is bad, I still praise God. After the diagnosis, I still want to praise Him and proclaim His name to people. I pray that I can serve God. If there be hindrances, I just trust God and still hope and pray that I can still proclaim His name.
Father, forgive me for my selfishness that sometimes I think highly of myself or better than others. Father, enable to think lowly of myself and that others are better than me, that their interests are better than me. Even if I think what they think is illogical or incomprehensible, enable me to trust in your reigning authority and assurance. Father, forgive me, teach me. Help me not to be selfish. In Jesus' name, Amen.
In praise, I can humble.
In sorrow, I can trust.
In others, I judge. :-(
