During my first assignment, I looked back and asked (I even want to ask those from the past...including those that ended painfully),
"How have they shown God to me?"
From my observations of people, there are two kinds of them.
One who would say "Just read the Bible and God will teach you." (People who said they didn't have mentors yet blessed for they have learned.)
Another who would say "Find a mentor. Find someone who can properly guide and understand you." (People who are blessed to have mentors and learned from them and their example.)
This is also in connection to my remembering which I shared to you:
"This is one of those times when I look back and remember what God has done in my life.... I thank God for a very lot. I cannot help but drop tears from my eyes right now for how much God is great."
I titled that "Transitions in Life.....Testimony".
In most of the transitions in my life, God sends people to help, love, nurture, and care. I am beginning to understand that in every new chapter of my life story, God sends people. When I was smaller, I knew there was something or someone watching over me. Though most times I would turn away from that something/someone, but I still return. Only lately (last year maybe), words that I hadn't described God before, "God preserved me." He has been preserving me. I don't know why. At times when I didn't want to exist, there is still that something that I need to yet stay on this earth.
Anyway.....also...I came across the verses 1 Peter 2:2-3, "2 As newborn babies want milk, you should want the pure and simple teaching. By it you can mature in your salvation, 3 because you have already examined and seen how good the Lord is. NCV"
I've met verse 2 all the time, but only now I see:
I've been a "Christian" for a long time but doubted my salvation. I would even be categorized as an old Christian, even told that I "don't need to be taught Bible stories anymore" because I'm "no longer a baby [Christian]" for I "have been in Sunday Schools and went to a Christian school unlike __(name)__." However, I still SO MUCH "want to be taught of the Bible" (those have always been my words). Yet, how painful it is to be denied to be taught of the Bible when it's a simple request "because I want to know God; I want God". Still, no "just read the Bible and God will teach you" or "you're old already" could stop me from wanting "to be taught of the Bible".
Though an old "Christian", only have I known God so much and His Word recently.
After that verse, I checked commentaries (biblegateway.com):
From Matthew Henry's Commentary --
"Strong desires and affections to the word of God are a sure evidence of a person’s being born again. If they be such desires as the babe has for the milk, they prove that the person is new-born. They are the lowest evidence, but yet they are certain."
"Strong desires and affections to the word of God are a sure evidence of a person’s being born again. If they be such desires as the babe has for the milk, they prove that the person is new-born. They are the lowest evidence, but yet they are certain."
As much as I want to acknowledge --- Soli Deo Gloria
If without God's givens, no matter how long it took me, would my cravings & yearnings "to be taught of the Bible" be met?
If without that one-on-one Bible Study, would I be able to read the Bible now as joyous and glad? Even the known hardest part of the Bible (Pentateuch), I am reading it with less difficulty and never finding boredom. People disliked Leviticus, but I could now read it without the thought of skipping it.
If without the reminder and made the words "God loves you" & "God chose you" real to me by letting me hear those words rather than by reading it from a book, would I have known God more personally? The first time I heard "God loves you" was 4yrs ago but no longer hearing those words a year later. When I heard those three words, I felt God touching my heart. And I longed for that. And when I heard "God chose you" for the first time, here's my thought "God, I await for your coming."
The more I am knowing God personally, the more I want to share Him to people, the more I want to learn to teach and lead others.
Though there are years wasted by wrong guidance (because I didn't know), God still has preserved me, and it could be that the time has not yet come for me.
I thank God for the experiences...for now, I have known better.
I am still the same sinner...yet I thank God for His love and discipline molding me to become better each day. I still can make mistakes but I thank God for making me aware and I have to remember to "repent and not do it again". However, asking apologies from other people still cowers me.
"Today you have learned, Tomorrow you will be wiser." 
It may be a "turn off" from the first kind of people that I have mentors and I depend on them for my growth.......well, there are two of these kinds of people: one who are like them, one who are like me. And we're both blessed the same but in different ways.
