God brought people to me, in every transition of my life, to help me grow, to nurture, and to teach me. However, when another transition in life comes, my relationship with these people would end unpleasantly. From giving up to misunderstanding to conflict.
- The transition to enter teen years, it was 1 year, but I learned who Christ was.
- The transition in college and graduating college, 3 years, I experienced the love and care of someone. Being nurtured. Allowed to be open. Guided to find my identity. Learned life skills. Experienced to have a surrogate mother and a church mother. However, she failed to teach me the Bible which was my ultimate request. Furthermore, I learned who God was and that God loves me.
- The transition to unemployment and a neglect from my church mother, a very short 6 months, my first spiritual dad. I was all sorrowed from the pain, neglect, and denial from my church mother for it ended with a very wrong evaluation which resulted to sending me to a psychologist. This spiritual dad taught my Romans and introduced me the Heidelberg Catechism. He also helped me as I recovered from being a flood victim. I learned and have experienced more of God's love and grace. He mentored me. As my spirit grew, so was my emotional development also grew with my spiritual development. And I have known that my church mother was not theologically equipped and cannot really teach me the Bible.
- The transition to finding a job and womanhood, ONGOING, my spiritual father left to be close to his family and ailing father, and I found my spiritual Mamu. She visited my church and city for internship from her seminary; that's when I met her. Though she is far away, I get to email and text her, and she would call me before sleeping when necessary. I am learning to read and study the Bible by myself, thankful for the one-on-one Bible Study I had when my spiritual father was here. I still update my spiritual dad from time to time because he is now busy as he is teaching in a school, and could no longer reply to my emails. So, at these times, I am learning to rely more on God, learning to look up to God as my Father. I have not even thought that my spiritual father was introducing me to the Reformed Theology. I only told him I wanted to learn Romans. I never thought I could learn this much from Romans, despite that my spiritual father and I have not finished studying Romans together. I am reading books more and finding the passion to read and learn more of the Bible as I read and discover.
The list doesn't stop there.
I would never know if my new spiritual mom would give up, leave, and break me until it comes but I pray it would not happen again. I would never know who God would send to teach me in another transition in life until I reach it.
I thank God for his wonder. Though there are times I wanted to give up, even when I still small, I wanted not to live. Yes, my parents may have not neglected my needs and shelter but they have failed to help me grow emotionally secure. I thank God that all my years, He preserved me. When I was lonely, God was there with me. I didn't know him much then, but now, I thank God for allowing him to know him more and more each day. I thank God for His love and the love my spiritual parents, the love of his family, the love of other people, the love of friends, the love of my parents though I fail to feel their love. I thank God for a very lot. I cannot help but drop tears from my eyes right now for how much God is so great. Though a sinner, I am still accountable of my actions, yet God still preserves me. Two words, "thank you", doesn't seem to be enough to praise God but still THANK YOU GOD.
