If we remember the story, usually we could remember "the spirit is willing but the body is weak". That was the case with Jesus' disciples. And we could also remember Jesus submitted to Father God, "not my will but your will be done."
In this message, I never thought about the passage like how it was taught by the speaker that night. The speaker spoke to us about the Scripture and related it with our present times now. He also explained it in Jesus' character.
That night in Gethsemane before Jesus' arrest, Jesus needed companionship. Jesus wished for his disciples, his friends to go with him as he pray in the dark, that's why he chose his three closest friends (Peter, James, John). When Jesus came back from prayer, he saw his friends sleeping while he was already in a very troubling situation. While Jesus was praying, Father God had been silent. The Bible hadn't recorded Father God to be speaking with Jesus. Jesus was feeling all lonely and scared, like a human. In the movie "Passion of the Christ", Satan was there trying to disturb Jesus while Father God was silent. Yet in the end, Jesus submitted to God and let God do as He wills.
Like Jesus' friends, our most trusted and reliable friends were usually the ones who could fail us and hurt us the most. (True!)
Like Jesus' Father, who's also our Father, could also be so silent during our most lonely and tough times. (True!) And the enemy trying to disturb us so badly that we could slip away from God's original plan.
My ex-mentor had been telling me to "submit to God" 2-3 years ago, but "submit" was just a mere word to me. I didn't understand what submission really was..until now. I'm not too much with words, words are foreign to me, my lack of communication skills. I learn more with what I see or visualize. Anyway...
I have been indifferent regarding Christianity (and it's flaws) and brotherly love. Every time I read about God's command on "brotherly love", I am disliking it...because of my painful experiences, I am not wanting to do anything about it. It hurts so much to love yet our close persons are hurting us that can break us hard.
Even my family. From the fight this today's breakfast, my family told me to "stop twisting my brain". They were accusing me that I went out far that I depleted the car's fuel, when I bought fuel and did errands. I was complaining, "How about [my brother]? Where did he go? How much did he pay for gas? I bought fuel because before I used it, it was already depleted." But, my brother left without accusations, they didn't believe me, and I was coined a jealous person. Angry, I lied I went FAR AWAY and they believed it.When they said I had a twisted mind (YA!! I'm insane. I should be in an insane asylum. Why then do they have to let me do all this work if I'm insane?), I was also waiting for them to say, "Is that what a Christian does? Is that what your home church taught you?" I would interrupt, "I'm no longer a Christian!!" Seeing my Bible, I thought "This sucks. What's the point?" Didn't read my Bible today. Didn't eat breakfast.
I thought that after the message yesterday, "this could be a start of my journey". But then today, "Life sucks."
